Jared profile picture

Jared

vhs222

About Me

Did I mention I'm a ninja?
Check out my beats, I have too many to count right now, so I figured, why not post them.
My Company : Integrated Vibes Music / Web Site Design / Graphic Arts
Things No One Should Know
Name: Jared
Birthday: June 4th
Birthplace: Red Bank, NJ
Current Location: Boone, North Cakalaca
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'9"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Depends
Your Heritage: Meat Popsicle
The Shoes You Wore Today: Pink Fluffy Bunny Slippers
Your Weakness: Violinists.
Your Fears: Little People
Your Perfect Pizza: Three Brothers... Point Pleasant... Warning : DO NOT BY A WHOLE PIE. You will not be able to fit it in the trunk of your car. (We had to fold the pizza in half and put down the back seats to fit it in my friends minivan.)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Finish my book.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "OH MY GOD! There's a BEAR in my oatmeal!!!"
Thoughts First Waking Up: "What day is it?"
Your Best Physical Feature:
Your Bedtime: Never
Your Most Missed Memory: Childhood... "My head is metal!" etc...
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: Wendy's
Single or Group Dates: Does it matter?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What kind of question is that?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla with chocolate syrup.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine IV
Do you Smoke: Sometimes
Do you Swear: Constantly
Do you Sing: Yes
Do you Shower Daily: No... but I floss.
Have you Been in Love: Yes
&..39;Do you want to go to College:' No.... College is for looooosers.
Do you want to get Married: One day.
Do you belive in yourself: Always
Do you get Motion Sickness: Never
Do you think you are Attractive: With enough beers......... no...
Are you a Health Freak: No frakin way!
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument: Yes... Everything.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No... But sounds like a good idea.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: No... Strictly studio...
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Every day
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Ask Matty B
Ever been called a Tease: Once, but she was trying to eat me...... That's not a joke. Ask Matty B.
Ever been Beaten up: Yeah, but I got a few good punches in there... I think it was the chair that did me in... And the three hundred people attacking each other.
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: A blazin glory.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Rambo
What country would you most like to Visit: Sydney Australia... They frackin love Americans!
In a Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Doesn't matter.
Favourite Hair Color: Doesn't matter.
Short or Long Hair: Doesn't Matter.
Height: < 5'9"
Weight: < 300 lbs
Best Clothing Style: Mariachi...... Ask Matty B.
Number of Drugs I have taken: Lost count.
Number of CDs I own: Pi * 985712 ^ 2
Number of Piercings: Nadda damn one.
Number of Tattoos: On my butt. Each cheek has an M. So when I bend over, it spells MoM... j/k none...
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1 / Pi * 985712 ^ 2
RECENT PROJECTS
Turchin Love and Light Jewelry
Bulletproof Records
Nancy Drew : Music From The Motion Picture
A Mighty Heart : Music From The Motion Picture
Arctic Tale : Music From And Inspired By The Motion Picture
Transformers Theme
Integrated Vibes

My Interests

Music, Movies, Computers, Books, Video Games, Randomness, TV Shows, etc...

I'd like to meet:

Ghandi; One of the Three Musketeers; Hoops; Captain Kirk; The writer of Happy Tree Friends; Michael Moore; Carrot Top; Mumra; Your Momma; My Momma; Chitara; A Glow Worm; A Tribe Called Quest; Steven Segal's fist; The person who thinks up new forms of KY-Jelly; Andre the Giant; Mel Brooks; The person who cast VIP; Rob Lewis; anyone who can burp, fart, hic-up, sneeze, vomit, and cough at the same time without imploading; Voltron; Fonzy; Gonzo; Bonk from Bonk's Adventure; Jonny Goodboy Tyler; Elias Gonzalez; Dr. Ruth; Crocidile Dundee; Peter Griffin; Lois Lane; The Rock; Chuck D; Pippi Long Stocking; Dave Chapelle; Adam Sandler; Three Blind Mice; Pork; The genius who produced the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" theme song; a Unicorn; Briana Banks; Bruce Leeroy; Donatello; Craing; Snarf; Robert Stack; An Alien; That dude from Quantum Leap who appears out of thin air to give odd advice; Vince Vauhn; Don King; Tonya Harding; Phil Hartman's ex-Wife; The dude who popped Biggie; God; The writer of bad jokes found on popsicle sticks. Question: "What did the bug say to the person." Answer: "Nothing. Bugs don't talk."; The deuce bag who canceled Family Guy; Doogie Howser MD; That dude who dances on Lincoln road to old seventies music. You know who I'm talking about. The one that overexaderates the spirit fingers; The person who invented the shimmy dance; Babe (The pig, not the baseball player); An asshole with nothing to lose; A Snork; A Guranimal (A Man + A Dog = A Mog. A Frog + A Fish = a Frish etc...); Nostradamus; The Undead; The Entire Zulu Nation; Bruce Willis; Herbie; Oscar Wilde;

Music:

Everything and anything under the sun.

Movies:

Seen them all.

Television:

Farscape, Battlestar Gallactica, Law & Order : Special Victims Unit, WWE ( Who doesn't )...

Books:

Battlefield Earth, Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter Series, Ender Game Series, anything Sci-Fi

Heroes:

Yanni... just kidding.

My Blog

Only time will tell...

It's been a long time since my last blog, so I guess I should fill you in on whats been happening in my life. For those who know me, you should already know the entire story, however, f...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 05:26:00 PST

Where we work!

I manually masturbate lab animals for artificial semination. What's your job?
Posted by Jared on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 09:35:00 PST

The Undead Live!

I've asked several people this same question the past week and I was wondering what your thoughts on the subject were?Why does Hollywood insist on making more and more horror movies about Zombies? The...
Posted by Jared on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 09:30:00 PST

Sexual Chocolate

I'm having a hard time understanding what it means to be shallow. Is it true the people we surround ourselves with make us who we are? I'd like to think of myself as a plant striving to reach the sun,...
Posted by Jared on Sat, 30 Sep 2006 02:59:00 PST

Automatic Bullshit

I don't know what the hell I'm typing right now. Have you ever heard of automatic writing? That's when someone grabs a pen and pencil, closes their eyes, and begin to scribble on a peice of paper. Thr...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 02:19:00 PST

The Reflex

It seems as though the lonliest time in a man's life is when he realizes how long he's played God of War. Fifteen hours straight since yesterday... I think. All I remember from the...
Posted by Jared on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 02:45:00 PST

Kung-Wow!

Kung Fu Hustle was one of the greatest Kung Fu flicks I've ever seen. It's probably overlooked because of it's insanity and first hand comparison to Kung Pow, but I assure you that it's quite the...
Posted by Jared on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 07:45:00 PST

Some funny shit...

I have recently been contemplating ideas for a radio show. It started off as a long night with beer and Robot Chicken, but then evolved into something evil.Spoof : 24 (the TV show)Jack Bauer is a...
Posted by Jared on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 01:58:00 PST

Ego flavored soda?

A quest for knowledge must begin with a thirst; a craving of such stature it cannot be remedied by nutrients alone. It must be severed from a book an etched onto the roof of o...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 08:10:00 PST

My Homework ate my Dawg!!!

It's easy to let the past blind us, however, sometimes looking forward is merely ignorance disguising itself as hope; is it true people can change? Everyday I wake up convinced they can, but...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 05:52:00 PST