yon

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head, that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months, it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart, is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you, for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions, on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself, when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away, that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart, to leave me behind
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you…for you… for you…. for you.