Steven profile picture

Steven

I am here for Friends

About Me

Im told that im fun to be around, idk what to say...trait snapshot:messy, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, dependent, introverted, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, avoidant, daydreamerDont ever say love unless you mean it and theres no median between loving and when you dont theres alot of ppl that dont see that...Its because of my Grandfather that i have become the person that i am today and hes the reason why im a firefighter... and now being a firefighter means so much more to me because now im in his old fire house...

My Interests

Seether Lyrics Seether Music Codes Music Codes by SongArea.comMusic, I write it, i play it, i make it. Anything to do with music i do it. Other then that i have many interests, so just ask

I'd like to meet:

Dimebag Darrell (RIP), Zakk Wylde, actully anyone really into musicDying Witch

Music:

ill go for just about anything but country and gospel. But im mostly into metal and grunge. For me the .1 guys in my eyes are Dimebag Darrell and Zakk Wylde if you dont know who these people are find out and go pick up thier albums.

Television:

The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Books:

Ive been finding myself in Anne Rice Books resently

Heroes:

My Grandfather is my biggest hero that i have, he has taught me so much... i miss him...March 11th, 2006 3:43 pm And also my grandmother my they both rest in peace...And everyone over at the firehouse in Cranberry Lake, those guys are the greatest...the 343 brave men that gave thier lives in the events of September 11th may they rest in peaceNEVER FORGET!!mind you i stole this from kimKNOWIN YOUR SON IS VERY SICK AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP HIM OR SAVE HIM...AND YOUR MAKING THE DOCTORS DO MORE THEN WHAT THERE SUPPOSET TO DO JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE HIM...AND YOU BEIN HIS MOTHER IT KILLS YOU...SEATING THERE WATCHINHG YOUR SON SLOWY DIE IN YOUR ARMS AND EYES...HOLDIN HIM TELLIN HIM ITS OK AND LYING TO HIM...TELLING HIM DONT BE SCARED BECAUSE I WONT LET HIM GO.. YOU KNOW I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT BEING A MOM UNTIL I HAD SKYLER....AND I WONT CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD I MEAN WATCHING HIM GROW UP ALWAYS BEING THERE...ALL THE LILLTE THINGS MATTER THE MOST I MEAN WHEN THEY LEARN TO WALK...YOUR SO PRODE OF THEM AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS HOLD THEM AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM LIKE I DO....WHEN HE DID SOMETHING WRONG AND YOU COULD NOT YELL AT HIM...BECAUSE HE GIVES YOU THAT SORRY LOOK AND LIP...WHEN WE TRYS TO EAT HIS FIRST BDAY CAKE AND GET MORE ON HIS FACE THEN IN HIS MOUTH....HIM RUNNING TO YOU WHEN HE CANT SLEEP BECAUSE HE NEEDS MOMMY...YOU LAYING THERE KISSING HIS HEAD AND TELLING HIM ITS OK MOMMYS HERE...THE MONSTERS WONT GET YOU NOW :( I GUESS I DIDNT KNOW WHAT A MOMMY WENT THROUGH UNTIL I WAS A MOMMY TO..... AND ME BEING THAT MOMMY I WANT TO TAKE ALL THE PAIN, AND SICKNESS AWAY...YOU KNOW BEING THAT GOOD MOM I HAVE BEEN TRYIN TO BE...I SEAT AND BAG GOD EVERYDAY TO TAKE ME INSTED BUT HE WONT...I SWEAR HES ONLY TRYIN TO TORMENT ME BECAUSE OF ALL PEOPLE IN THIS GOD FOR SAKING WORLD HE KNOWS WHAT SKYLER MEANS TO ME.....SKYLER IS MY WORLD AND I CANT PICTURE IT WITHOUT HIM AND I WONT...SKYLER IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I AM STILL HERE GOD PLZ DONT TAKE HIM PLZ....I NEED HIM AND HE NEEDS ME I AM ON MY KNEES BAGING YOU PLZ...LET HIM LIVE AND TAKE ME OR AT LEAST TAKE ME WITH HIM ITS NOT HIS TIME...HES ONLY TWO HE HAS NOT LIVED YET...SO WHY DID YOU GIVE ME HIM IF YOU KNEW YOU WHERE GOING TO TAKE HIM AWAY...LOOK I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE I ONLY CARE ABOUT HIM AND I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM....JUST PLZ TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO....I CANT SEE HIM LIKE THIS ITS....LIKE YOUR TEARING MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST ITS JUST YOU WONT TAKE IT ALL THE WAY OUT...PLZ STOP PLZ

My Blog

fucken eh

Why Does everything go from the best to the fucken worst with me all the fucken time
Posted by Steven on Sat, 17 Nov 2007 08:24:00 PST

scared

resently i havent been so scared to loose a great friend and i fear i will because of the way i have acted toward her i know i shouldnt have but then i didnt blinded with my selfish anger all i want&n...
Posted by Steven on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:43:00 PST

missing...everyone

i know ive said this before but i miss everyone that i used to know but i think there forgetting about me. For enstance Ann we were always close but i feel that were like drifting away now bc of the d...
Posted by Steven on Thu, 24 May 2007 11:48:00 PST

????

      Can You Open My Safe?        1st       Number:        the last 4 numbers in my phone no.  &n...
Posted by Steven on Sun, 01 Oct 2006 10:57:00 PST

remembering

moving totally sucks ya know... i miss my ol friends and my old fire house... but i must say when ever i need a laugh i look back at the memerys i have of all the things that have happend. like then t...
Posted by Steven on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 03:17:00 PST

today is the day

well i think this is ittomarrow well actully today is the day when im not going to be in cranberry lake anymore to tell u the truth about it im depressed about it really... oh well the number is 549-8...
Posted by Steven on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:27:00 PST

Exodus

Exodus Written by: Steven R Lerch Jr.   My black gig bag Filled with broken dreams Twenty bucks from the show Should get me threw the week   Here in the shadows Im safe I'm free In the dark...
Posted by Steven on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 07:51:00 PST

an unfinished thought

Don't you understand All I have ever tried is to lift the pain So that you will have no more burdens I can see right threw your lies   I have tried to save the good The innocents in your eyes But...
Posted by Steven on Sat, 18 Mar 2006 06:37:00 PST

Untitled

I'm sittin here thinkin'How did it all go wrong...When I was under the impressionThat what we felt was strongI never had a better timeWhen I'm with youI was never happierWith all the things that you d...
Posted by Steven on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 07:36:00 PST

who really gives a flying fuck

I'm so sick of fucken liers. for entance theres this girl that i know who was great when we were going out but afterwards she changed into this fucken totaly diffrent person and im not sure it was for...
Posted by Steven on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 09:27:00 PST