~neal profile picture

~neal

About Me

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people have told me that i am flawless. i don't think so. i would at best conceed to something close to fabulous. some also say that i am fierce. watch out. i can be very sharp and at times brutally honest. i am rational and logical, most of the time. my deductive reasoning is fine-tuned machine. i don't like "burning" people, though. (few people know that about me and those that know seemed to have forgotten.) i tend to be shy and meek when you first meet me, unless i am under attack. i try to be modest. i like my privacy (which is apparently a thing of the past). i shine during good moments and murk during bad. there are many sides to my nature. most people are complex. my cameleon-like tendencies make people think that i am mysterious and secretive. i am actually quite the opposite. ask me a question and you may get more of an answer than you expected. my life is an open book, if you will. i had an english teacher as a grandmother who was a jack of all trades. i have a nutty, perfectionistic professor as a father and my mother is conservative, kind and untrusting. naturally, i have been influenced greatly by all three and learned their ways as fairly and equally as possible. whether they believe that or not, i do not know. i am sure that the spirits of my grandparents follow me as well. my combined forces are both beautiful and frightening. i've been told that i am intimidating. that's not my intention. i don't play that game. i actually don't really like games very much anyway.
it is surprising how forgiving i am. (i even surprise myself at times.) read my poetry. humans are fallable. of course people are going to make mistakes and everyone deserves a second (or maybe a third, fourth, fifth...) chance. i have been trusting and have given people the benefit of the doubt in the past. currently, that is not the case. through my travels i have become very guarded. when fooled or deceived (as funny as it may be), my persona just doesn't allow me to take it very kindly. my instincts are keen and i know how to feel out a situation. i am very attentive and alert. i am typically a light-hearted, fun-loving guy. i really just don't care, though. to clarify "i don't care:" it means that i am going to be the person that i am. i love who i am. i only change for my own growth. (i worked for a company whose moto is "we take is personally," for the love of pete!) i especially "don't care" what people say or think about me. this was a hard lesson to learn. people sometimes appear to walk all over me. this is not really the case. i merely let them walk because why give them the satisfaction of the fight. life is to short to fight ridulous little battles. discuss, forgive and forget. let us clarify, though. when necessary (and there are definitely situations), i will gladly stand up for myself and others and fight the good fight.
i am just expecting the truth, because the truth does not scare me. it's either that or i'm probably going to hurt a bunch of people who probably don't deserve it. to put it another way, i get an explanation or i disappear (i'm already halfway gone). i doubt you care either way, but it had to be said. i don't believe in coincidences. if this doesn't make sense to you then you are someone who will probably miss me when i'm gone.
glbt, lgbt, bltg tlbg... it doesn't matter. it all means queer.

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic
Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?
Your Inner European is Spanish!
Energetic and lively.
You bring the party with you! Who's Your Inner European?
You Are an Excellent Cook
You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire... Are You A Good Cook?

My Interests

manu chao-clandestino

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You Are 50% Open
You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life. How Open Are You?

You Are 70% Tortured Genius
You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse.
Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst. Are You a Tortured Genius? What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.


Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
The Northeast
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I'd like to meet:


this may be the most interesting question on myspace...

an honest, short answer would be people who are trustworthy (which equates to many things for me, but that can be a topic of discussion). period. as a long answer, i need people who are honest, loving, intelligent, sarcastic, witty, true, virtuous, respectful, dependable, eclectic, logical, funny, quirky, crazy, dorky, artistic, nerdy, cool, collected, rational, scattered, random or any combination thereof. i even like conservative people and moral zealots. they can be fun to talk to. average people are cool and so are down-to-earth folks. people who are selfish and egotistical typically don't get to see the best of me or my true nature shall we say. we'll just leave that as is. mostly i just like people. it depends on them as to whether or not they get to know who the real neal is.

games are dangerous. i don't like them and i despise deceit. when someone loses my trust (or my respect), it is rather difficult to regain. this does not mean that i will not treat you kindly or civilly. i sometimes am even respectful when disrespected. but... remember honesty and forgiveness. those are very redeeming factors.

really... i like people who are like my cat. she sits in my lap when i need attention. she purrs and shows that she loves me. she protects me and keeps me warm. she licks my forehead. who wouldn't like to get their forehead licked? she even leaves me little presents that i have to pick up with a napkin/paper towel/kleenex/whatever i have available and throw them in the garbage (or the kitty litter box, whichever is closest). we take care of each other.

i am a lesbian - always have been. so, bring your uhaul if you're coming along.

to sum it up, i love people and i love to be loved.


You Are A Good Friend
You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"! What Kind of Friend Are You?
You Communicate With Your Ears
You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.
What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.
You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.
Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod. How Do You Communicate?
You Are 40% Weird
Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it! How Weird Are You?

don't be afraid to add me as a friend. i promise i won't tell. i have no intention of "un-hiding" my friends list.

the reason that i hide my friends is primarily due to the fact that i do not like the "top friends" concept. i have too many top friends to name them all. it just steps on toes. secondly, i have "top" friends that are not on myspace. thirdly, maybe i have friends that want to remain unnoticed.

Music:


variety is the spice of life....

aaron copland
alison krauss
ani difranco
the arcade fire
the b-52s
bach
the band
beck
beethoven
ben harper
the beach boys
the beetles
bitch & animal
björk
blondie
bonnie raitt
built to spill
césaria évora
chad vangaalen
chris smithers
chuck brodsky
clap your hands say yeah
coldplay
coltrane
compay segundo
conor oberst
damien rice
the dandy warhols
dayna kurtz
death cab for cutie
the dixie chicks
dj satoshi tomiie
dolly parton
drums & tuba
ella fitzgerald
elliott smith
elton john
emmylou harris
the faint
fiona apple
fito páez
franz ferdinand
g love & special sauce
gipsy kings
gove scrivner
grandaddy
the grateful dead
greg brown
guy clark
handel
hot chip
indigo girls
interpol
into the woods - broadway cast
j.j. cale
jack johnson
jackopierce
james taylor
jane's addiction
janis joplin
jeff buckley
john prine
joni mitchell
kings of leon
lamb
larry jon wilson
lcd soundsystem
led zeppelin
loudin wainwright iii
louis xiv
m.i.a.
malcolm holcombe
the mamas and the papas
maná
manu chao
manu negra
massive attack
miles davis
miss kittin
mississippi john hurt
modest mouse
mozart
nanci griffith
natalie merchant
nickel creek
ozomatli
pansy division
patty griffin
paul simon
peaches
pearl jam
phish
pink floyd
pizzicato five
portishead
the postal service
powderfinger
prince
puccini
radiohead
r.e.m.
rent - broadway cast
richie havens
róisín murphy
rory block
rufus wainwright
ry cooder
scissor sisters
the shins
sigur rós
sufjan stevens
taj mahal
tara vandevender
tchaikovsky
tegan and sara
tool
tori amos
townes van zandt
tracy chapman
van morrison
violent femmes
vivaldi
the white stripes
wilco

Movies:


igby goes down
donnie darko
sideways
the hours
amor es perros
the royal tenenbaums
the wolves of krommer
harold and maude
traffic
crash
the three amigos
like it is
napoleon dynamite
garden state
the science of sleep
requiem for a dream
pi
9 to 5
clue
sin noticias de dios (don't tempt me)
big fish
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
steel magnolias
i ? huckabees
tommy boy
lost in translation
romancing the stone
l'auberge espagnole
full metal jacket
a clockwork orange
lolita
dr. strangelove
finding nemo
pan's labyrinth
notting hill
running with scissors
beautiful thing
moulin rouge
die mommie, die
good morning, vietnam
journey to the center of the earth
the flight of dragons
the order
the last samurai
hable con ella
y tú mamá también
elizabethtown
render
pollock
fögi est un salaud (fogi is a bastard)
the devil wears prada
little miss sunshine
babel
the queen (i really do love the queen thanks to this girl named nadja from germany. i never really thought about the queen before meeting her and the influence got me completely hooked.)
an inconvenient truth

Television:

would you take it seriously??

Books:

los de abajo by: azuela
gal by: bolton
angels & demons by: brown
the da vinci code by: brown
deception point by: brown
digital fortress by: brown
the education of little tree by: carter
the canterbury tales by: chaucer
the alchemist by: coelho
the pilgrimage by: coelho
the valkryies by: coelho
jurassic park by: crichton
the andromeda strain by: crichton
sphere by: crichton
como agua para chocolate by: esquivel
the beach by: garland
the culture of fear by: glassner
comfort & joy by: grimsley
dream boy by: grimsley
who moved my cheese? by: johnson
on the road by: kerovac
big sur by: kerovac
the secret life of bees by: kidd
carrie by: king
the eyes of the dragon by: king
misery by: king
it by: king
the lion, the witch and the wardrobe by: lewis
tales of the city by: maupin
dance dance dance by: murakami
a wild sheep chase by: murakami
hope for the flowers by: paulus
zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance by: pirsig
pryor rendering by: reed
lasher by: rice
the witching hour by: rice
taltos by: rice
interview with the vampire by: rice
the vampire lestat by: rice
the queen of the damned by: rice
the vampire armand by: rice
pandora by: rice
violin by: rice
memnoch the devil by: rice
vittorio: the vampire by: rice
servant of the bones by: rice
still life with woodpecker by: robbins
fierce invalids home from hot climates by: robbins
skinny legs and all by: robbins
harry potter and the sorcerer's stone by: rowling
harry potter and the chamber of secrets by: rowling
harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban by: rowling
harry potter and the goblet of fire by: rowling
harry potter and the order of the phoenix by: rowling
harry potter and the half-blood prince by: rowling
harry potter and the deathly hallows by: rowling
fast food nation by: schlosser
people in trouble by: schulman
life outside by: signorile
el burlador de sevilla by tirso de molina
the story of the night by: tóibin
the hobbit by: tolkien
the lord of the rings by: tolkien
sexing the cherry by: winterson
to the lighthouse by: woolf
don juan tenorio by zorrilla
lorca
neruda
frost

Heroes:

artists. true scientists. teachers. genuinely kind, honest people. whales. scarlet king snakes. loggerhead turtles. cheetahs. sequoias. hydrangea. joshua trees. rocks. rivers. nature trails. urban jungles... etc... etc... etc...

My Blog

whatever the case... take care.

plausible deniability? tough love? whatever the case... you have forced me into a bad situation where all i have left are my convictions. the chosen abstract and subversive methods have only strengthe...
Posted by ~neal on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:53:00 PST

my status unionized

my flowing poo falls as i straddle the present. my legs are stuck in the past and the future leaving my nerves knee-deep in uncharted waters. greedy cohorts and their enablers are supported by capital...
Posted by ~neal on Sat, 31 Mar 2007 09:07:00 PST

procrastinated words

i admit it. i read emails shortly after they hit my inbox. i anticipate them whether or not i know they are on the tips of a sender's fingers. while email intensifies the pleasure of receiving a lette...
Posted by ~neal on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 11:59:00 PST

former lives

i am amazed at the number of lives i have lived. internally i have always felt like the same person but as i look back i can see that i have been living different lives. different people have come out...
Posted by ~neal on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 07:10:00 PST

why i like the word cunt

i wish i understood why i love the word cunt. maybe it is the visceral connotation of the word. maybe it is just the way it rolls off my tongue. it is beautifully graphic without providing the mental ...
Posted by ~neal on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 10:22:00 PST

last goodbye

i don't know why i love this song so much......... Last Goodbye Lyrics (J. Buckley) This is our last goodbyeI hate to feel the love between us die.But it's overJust hear this and then I'll go:You gave...
Posted by ~neal on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 09:19:00 PST

my so-called community

my faith in humans, especially my so-called community, is all but lost. we are a most despicable species wrought with self-awareness and desire. rarely do we encounter individuals who&n...
Posted by ~neal on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 08:37:00 PST

receding

recedingpulling back further and furtherabnormallylike the sea before a tsunami an air of uneasy unfamiliaritysurrounds every environmentsomething is boundto preclude the retreat when will the rush of...
Posted by ~neal on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 08:13:00 PST

auld lang syne

With 2006 gone and 2007 at our feet, we look forward to the end of the Year of the Dog and the beginning of the Year of the Boar. We all were recently inundated with the oh-so-familiar tune Auld Lang...
Posted by ~neal on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 11:54:00 PST

a cliché phrase

there is a cliché combination of words that have circled through the gay subculture for as long as i can remember, and certainly longer. this phrase has come to the point of overuse due to the inhere...
Posted by ~neal on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 12:55:00 PST