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Soy una "Unjida Por Dios"

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Hello my space friend your probably wonder wow what a change Jacelyn did!!! Well let me tell you what made me change my whole life style. On June 4th 2007 my father was lying in the Hospital bed. He had all types of machine on him including a life support machine that kept him going ..ing him breath, because of a stroke he received. While I was with him in the room. I felt he wanted to go. I knew it was time for him to go, but I was being selfish and I was trying everything to keep him alive. Mean while he was suffering, so I told myself okay I got the picture. His waiting for his love one to come and say there last good bye so he could depart and go to heaven. So the following day we were all there. My Mother, my sister and her husband. I went to the room and I stood there admiring this man because as a Pastor that he was he was a strong man that never looked back. He maintain his faith in God. I started crying wishing my dad could talk to me. I wish I could hear his voice again telling me don't worry everything is going to be okay. I stood next to him I grab his hand as I spoke I told him Daddy I love you sooooooooo much. You know I am still your little girl. Daddy I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering I put you through. As I spoke to my dad I was still wishing that God do a miracle on him. I wasn't ready to let him go he meant so much to me. I wonder what if I could take his places and I suffer his pain. But God knows what his doing. Because I decided while I was standing there holding his hands. I need to change. I have to get my act together and get back into church. I have to follow the word of God he taught me every since I was a baby. I started to talk and I told him. Papi don't worry about Mom she's going to be find, Papi don't worry about Oby I will not stop visiting him and I will make sure his monthly money is in his books, Papi don't worry about Eggie and Melissa. I will try my best to help them out with whatever they need. I told him Papi I'm going to change. I'm going to be a member in your church. I'm going to make sure nothing change and the word of God get preached the way you preach it. I told him Papi I'm going to repent from my sins as I said this My Father open his eyes that inspire me the most. I saw tear drops coming from my dad eyes. He was actually listening to me. He squeeze my hand and felt proud. I told him I'm going to do what every it takes to meet you again. I knew as many times my father kneel down to God presents and cry for me to come back finally one of his prayers was answer. I laid next to my dad holding him I starting singing his favorite songs and I was telling him how much I loved him and that it was okay for him to go, visiting hours was over I went home suffering because I knew God was going to send his angel to get his soul, not even half an hour past and one of my Dad wishes came truth. To go to heaven and let him rest in peace. For you that is reading this let me tell you being a servant of God it's hard, but God give us the strength to continue on. I'm going to be honest w/ you when I went to my dad church after he departed from us. The co pastor at the time ask me do you want to repent from your sin, and of course I was fighting w/ myself because I was not ready to get back into church. I was not ready to leave everything I was doing. The world attracted me so much that I couldn't repent from my sin and be a servant of God I wasn't ready. But then I heard a voice that said what happen to that promise. Let me tell you at that moment I did not think it twice. I said yes, I want to give my life again to Jesus. I was in church and I kneel down to God and told him help me change. Help me leave everything you don't like show me how to dress. Help me fall in love with you and give me the strength to continue to live for you. The Devil will try to put all types of battle in front of you. He will try to use your kids, spouse whom ever is close to you, your financial all types of things he could think of to make you leave your Lord. The one who died in the cross for you and me. If you left your God his waiting knocking in your heart waiting there he wants to tell you I love you. But I tell you don't give up ask God to help you fight your battle. I said fight not to take them away. Because I tell you that’s how you will grow in your spiritual life. Believe me there's many times I want to give up but I want to see my Dad again. If you want to received God don't think about it please email me so I could pray for you.. God Bless you!!

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My heroes are my parents, especially my Dad. He was my everything to me. He tought me the right path and I thank him for that. "I know your gone now but I know I will see you again . I can’t believe how you went away. I never thought this would happen to me anytime soon. It’s hard not to hear your voice and it hurts me so bad. But I know your happy where your at. Daddy I will miss you cause your my inspiration. You were always a humble person and tried to make everyone happy. Meanwhile inside you suffered from your diseases, not showing us your pain but showing us your faith. I thought God was going to do a miracle, like he did before. But I guess your days were up because you have been called up to heaven. Daddy you won your crown . That crown you always preached about. And I’m acting selfish here because I wish you were still here. I’m always going to hold you in my heart and I promise that’s where you’ll stay. Even though right now I have a piece of my heart missing, I am happy to know that you are in a better place. You were my friend, my counselor, my Dad and I will try everything to meet you there, because I want to hear your voice once again . I want to hug you and tell you how much I have missed you and that I love you. Te veo papi hasta luego. I will always love you.

..I thank you Lord for another day you given me to look for your presence. It's kind of hard this path I'm walking through Lord. I feel like I'm alone and no one to lean on. I try I try to go forward and when I get up to fight my battles it's like I get punched and I drop down again. Please oh mighty God give me the strength heavenly father, so I could continue looking for you. May you lead me the way you want me to walk. May I look forward and never return back from where you dig me out of. Show me your way show me your light shine through me God and make me spiritual wise everyday. Take out and take away everything and anything that stop me from receiving your blessing, from letting me get to where you at. I promise my Dad that where he's at I should be. I remain to think that it will happen and I hope it will be soon. Because I miss that man so much. My life feels so empty at times because you're no longer here. I try to think of all the special moments we share. But then it hit's me. I was not there for u. You call me to take you to the hospital because you didn't feel good and I didn't. It hurts because u was suffering inside and I didn't realize what u was going through. Your last spoken words I didn't get a chance to hear I was not there and I regret every little of it. I wish I could turn back to May 24th. I would have rushed you to the hospital and may be I won't be writing this. They say that "thing happen for a reason" and it's funny that I'm always saying this, but I don't think it's true when it come regarding you. I didn't wanted you to leave I didn't wanted you to leave and I don't care right now because I know I'm acting selfish but I feel my heart is touring into peace and it's hard to connect it back. Daddy you didn't walk me down the ale you always said you can't wait for that moment to come but now you disappear from here and our dreams just went down the drain. There's time that I want for it to happen but deep inside it won't be the same because the person that was suppose to give me away have left from here. I hope I could see you soon because I feel my life is fallen apart and I'm trying to get up but its getting kind of hard. It's been 31/2 months since you been gone and I feel like it was yesterday. I would give my life just so you could be with mom. Because even do w/ her condition. I know she feels a piece of her is missing. You left us with unspoken words and it's unbelievable from all people God chosen you to depart from us!!!!! It hurts it hurts it hurts and it seem like I'm never going to heel from this pain. I try to be happy and let you rest in peace but it's hard and I can't. I just ask you Lord please give me the strength and if I fall raise me up, if I think to look back just remind me this path is for the braves not for the cowards. Please God let me be one of your chosen ones. I want to be in that crowd when you arrive.

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Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master. Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer. Had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. Feel honoured to serve such a Leader who loves us.

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I think myspace apps are saving your pics and comments to mirrorsocialsites.com
Posted by Soy una "Unjida Por Dios" on Thu, 22 May 2008 03:43:00 PST

I will keep my head up with FAITH!!

I saw her laying there hopeless and whinnying without us knowing what her pain could be. I stood there observing her and I ask myself wow I can't believe it's her!! I felt my eyes&...
Posted by Soy una "Unjida Por Dios" on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 01:26:00 PST

Suffering in the DARK!!!!

I'm sorry but I can't forget the time we share I can't forget the moment we laugh I hate that you left me w/ all this pain and sorrow. You just left me speechless. I hate that I can't call you ev...
Posted by Soy una "Unjida Por Dios" on Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:16:00 PST