"Who ARE The Boogens?" This is a question we hear far too often. Unfortunately for you, answering it may be too difficult. You Earthlings are feeble and inferior creatures without the capacity to grasp the concept of The Boogens. However, we'll make an exception and put it in simpler and more primitive terms. The Boogens come from the distant planet called Rockulon, where we were revered as Gods of Rock. We came to your planet after picking up a radio transmission in our spaceshitty hot rod—the Frankengrind. The sound coming from our speakers was obviously a cry for help, so we traveled millions of miles across five solar systems to help rid your Earth of its wicked inhabitants. The result will be most amazing. If you are brave enough to beg to differ, we will zap your planet to pieces.***Once The Boogens capture our opus on to your planet's primitive recording devises, we will require you to put your eardrums on a strict diet of Boogens, 24/7. Until then, rock out on your own merit with The Boogens in mind.***
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