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Ninja

About Me

I was born a ninja, like my father before me his father before him, so on and so forth. For over a thousand generations, my family has followed the way of the ninja, with one goal in mind - to rid the world of pirates. I have been training 20 hours a day since the age of 2 for the inevitible battle that would one day come, when the war between pirate and ninja would shake the world to it's core. The yin and yang of the world is losing it's balance, the number of pirates is increasing expotentially and they no longer attack just at night. Pirate armies are building up at numbers far greater than anyone could possibly imagined. Recently we learned that even the long since forgotten dead pirates are just now rising up out of their watery graves to join forces with the living. Many ninja spies died to bring us this information. In the end, there can be only one, whether it be pirate or ninja, I will die fighting for all that is good and just in this world to bring back the balance that is desperately needed in these dark and uncertain times.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Every single and last pirate so I can slice them from head to toe and from heart to soul with one chop from my hand and a swish from my sword!

My Blog

Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Today is the official talk like a pirate day and I am very displeased at how those swashbuckling scandrals have managed to weasle this in as some sort of psuedo holiday. But what makes me most angry i...
Posted by on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:35:00 GMT

Killing Is A Busy Job

I can't lie, I've been busy killing people.  It's what a ninja does best and I love my job.  I LOVE KILLING!  I should kill you just for reading this.  Sometimes it's not just peop...
Posted by on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 13:06:00 GMT

Beware of Pirate Propaganda

Yes, I said it, pirate propaganda, and by that, I mean the new movie coming out in a week or so that is the sequel, or should I say sewer, to The Pirates of the Carribean.  This movie is so bia...
Posted by on Tue, 27 Jun 2006 16:06:00 GMT

Entry: 04.18.06 - robots

I want to fight an army of pirate robots.  Hopefully they will be more of a challenge than your average dimwitted drunk pirate who is more concerned with wenches and grog than fighting with honor...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 05:33:00 GMT

Entry: 04.17.06 - abduction

I was enjoying a nice bowl of rice and some green tea when a beam of bright light shot down from the sky sucked me up into the clouds.  Every weapon I tried had no effect.  Flying fists of d...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Apr 2006 06:28:00 GMT

Entry: 04.13.06 - flipping out and killing people

I was asked to instruct a military special forces unit of a country I cannot name due to the lawsuit which will be dropped because no one in their sane mind would sue a ninja and no judge would actual...
Posted by on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 13:02:00 GMT

Entry 04.12.06 - ninja powers activate!

I was on the interweb today using it the way it was intended, not for porn, watching anime and illegally downloading Shakira CDs. I was researching away at the Wiki and I found out as a ninja, I can ...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 11:06:00 GMT

Entry 04.11.06 - anti-ninja/segregation campaigns

Today I am shocked to learn about a horrible anti-ninja campaign and I can only assume it is due to pirate propaganda. Ninjas across the world are not being allowed into resturaunts, night clubs, sub...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 12:26:00 GMT

Entry: 04.10.06 - ninja porn

A certain Mr. Kwon was not in high favor with my current employer, and I was given the job to correct the situation. So I slide on my tabi boots and disappeared into the night. I quickly and quietly ...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 05:49:00 GMT

Entry: 04.09.06 - karate kid & revenge

I was out on the beach today doing my morning tai chi when some Canadian kid came by and called me the Karate Kid and asked if he could have his picture taken with me doing the crane.  I immediat...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Apr 2006 11:09:00 GMT