Jess-man

JESS !!
LITTLE JESS

Ok...this is me -- I AM:

A happy go lucky scamp
A flirt, a cocktease, whatever..
A dickhead, whether sober or drunk
Too open and honest for my own good
Affectionate, sometimes emotional. Meh.
SHORT! Like, really really ridiculously short!!
Dirty, twisted, sick, with a perverted sense of humour
Sarcastic, hyper, bubbly, an entertainer with no shame

I LOVE:

To laugh and joke
The "C" word, it's lovely
Being an idiot with friends
Music! Rock. Heavy. Alt. Dance
Shotz. Colonel Light. The Highlander
Strawberries. Mmm. Sleep-ins. Lazy days
Road Trips. KFC. Coke Cola. Skittles. Starburst!
Scotch. Bourbon. Daiquiri. Vodka Lemon Lime/Raspberry Coke
I'm known for my cleavage, my height and for my humour.
I keep secrets well. Especially my own. Just because I don't share them doesn't mean I don't want you to know.
If you work with me, you don't know me. If you went to school with me, chances are you never knew the real me unless you spent a few lunchtimes with me and my gals.
I usually hate drinking alcohol. Most of it tastes like shit. But I can't stop myself from drinking.
I'm immature. I still laugh at farts and the word POO. I'm easily amused. If I continue laughing though, I've probably reinterpreted it into something dirty ;-)
Family Guy and Simpson Quotes roll off my tongue into every day conversation. If this is the case for you too, chances are I'll like talking to you.
I have an odd sense of humour. Sometimes it's acceptable other times it's R+ rated. I sometimes wonder strange things. Wonder how the world would be if The Fonz had a freak accident and lost both thumbs. Or if there was no hokey pokey to shake it all about. I wonder why isn't chuck norris afraid of the sun considering he has red hair. I find it funny how everyone loves the game lemmings, I find it funnier how it taught us to make the same mistakes as others. I wonder how popular would Wil Smith be if he was white? Or why aren't light-up sneakers cool anymore? I wonder why I think these things some days? I wonder how I would be if I didn't grow up in front of the television!
I wonder if I have made an impression on many peoples lives.
I wonder.....I wander....

I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence." It didn't sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: "To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence." It's doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: "Re-read this line." Now, if I could just find the time to write it.

Hawt man sings Beautiful song:
I heart Jared Leto