Eddie Machete profile picture

Eddie Machete

Have You Been Drinking Tonight Sir?

About Me


Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now:
Enjoy the power & beauty of your youth, oh never mind, you will never understand the power & the beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of yourself & recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you & how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future or worry but know that worrying is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealously, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long & in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the "Funky Chicken" on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can, don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.
Read the directions even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They are your best link to your past & the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go. But a precious few, who should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography & lifestyle, for as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain alible truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old & when you do, you'll fanaticise that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble & children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse but you'll never know when either one will run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're forty, it will look eighty-five.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts & recycling for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

My Interests

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-Orange Juice-
-Organization-
-Tennis-
-Numbers-
-Piercings-
-Lighters-
-Black lights-
-No Lights-
-Mixed Drinks-
-Air Conditioning-
-Vulgar Language-
-Sarcastic Remarks-
-Perverted Remarks-
-Humorous Remarks-
-Random Noises-
-Loud Music-

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I'd like to meet:



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I have × friends.

Janine

Denise

Emily

Lizz

Jason

Jon

Rami

Maylene

Ulisez

Adrian

Heather

Ashley

Joe

Ness

Rich

Stephanie

View All of My Friends

Music:

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- Clinic
- Franz Ferdinand
- Modest Mouse
- The Killers
- Snow Patrol
- Sublime
- The Shins
- Bumblebeez 81
- Death Cab For Cutie
- Postal Service
- My Chemical Romance
- Scissor Sisters
- Ace Of Base
- Morrissey
- Social Distortion
- Drop Kick Murphys
- No Doubt
- Kings Of Leon
- Magnetic Fields
- Chronic Future
- Muse
- Hot Hot Heat
- Gorillaz
- Polysics
- Alice In Videoland
- Cascada
- Daniel Beddingfield
- Queens Of The Stoneage
- Secret Machines
- Rilo Kiley
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- Hollywood Undead
- Neon Blonde
- Le Tigre
- Kasabian
- Angels And Airwaves
- Bright Eyes
- Blumchen
- Superputa
- Saalschutz
- Putilatex
- Benny Benassi
- She Wants Revenge
- Panic! At The Disco
- Hello Goodbye
- Mikoto
- M.I.A
- Jack Johnson
- John Mayer
- Faithless
- Daft Punk
- Shiny Toy Guns
- The Doves
- The Hives
- The Strokes
- The Capricorns
- The Cure
- The Faint
- The Flaming Lips
- The Libertines
- The Kinisons
- The White Stripes
- The Bravery
- The Blood Brothers
- The Chemical Brothers
- The Mars Volta
- The Zutons
- The Unicorns

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Movies:

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-Silence of the Lambs
-Manchurian Candidate
-The Forgotten
-The Butterfly Effect
-Kill Bill
-Manhunter
-Sin City
-SAW
-Cruel Intentions

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Books:

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-Burnout-
-Silence Of The Lambs-
-Red Dragon-
-A Cold New World-
-The Secret Man-
Assigned But Enjoyed
-Fahrenheit 451-
-Into The Wild-
-Into Thin Air-
-Crime And Punishment-
-Great Expectations-
-King Lear-

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Heroes:

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PARODY - Racist Southern Conservatives - Take A Joke Or Two. We're An Equally Offensive Insult Jukebox. =]. Easily Offended? Then Go Run Along And Comment My Pictures Instead. =D.

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My Blog

Thought you should know

My aunt Janine is the greatest. Word.
Posted by Eddie Machete on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:56:00 PST

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