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I am here for Friends

About Me

I'm David. I write sometimes and enjoy a gin and tonic other times. Either way I'm a barrel of fun and anti-depressants.
In summing herself up, Liz Lemon managed to say a lot about me too:
”I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown college. I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because when I was a kid my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the sound of her and my dad fighting, which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment, like never. I have had three donuts so far today. Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn’t leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp. A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin. Wow… I am a mess. There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends that I’m voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for John McCain. Here’s one, when I was a kid I used to put on my fanciest nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass and sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat. Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat. And I lied, I have had five donuts today.”

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can use the phrase "borderline ________" to describe themselves. Insert whatever you'd like.

My Blog

four minutes.

i wonder what you're doing right now.what that meant.what one random passing in time happened to mean in the scheme of an entire life.nicotine.america.my father is right here with me, somewhere.someti...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 00:33:00 GMT

hand in hand with the homos.

the air here is bitter.earlier this morning, two branches were splayed across the walkway in washington square. the leaves were still green.washington square, was i racing there?those leaves are gonn...
Posted by on Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:32:00 GMT

washington square... was i racing there?

This is a difficult time for me to be in New York. Fall is a tainted season, although the blood red leaves haven't started popping up around the city, mingled with the orange and yellows. The red on...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 15:24:00 GMT

editorial.

As a writer, I suppose I have a different view of the texts that I read than most people. I think of each text  whether it be a poem or a novel or an editorial for that matter  as a space that is wa...
Posted by on Sat, 31 Mar 2007 13:31:00 GMT

poems by norman kauffman

love song. sorry for clicheslike haste-makes-wastebut it doesloving to soonyou motherfuckeri'll moveand take a break and snakedown avenueswith king solomon'spineapple paradethat'll be the dayyeah, tha...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 18:07:00 GMT

editorial.

I have a bit of a tradition with a close friend of mine from high school.  Like most traditions we have no clue how this started, but whenever we meet for lunch it's always at the same Chinese bu...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 21:54:00 GMT

editorial.

On a recent trip home to Maryland, I had a strong desire to take a walk.  Despite what Woody Allen said about the country, that there's "no place to walk after dinner," there actually are a lot...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 15:11:00 GMT

tiny blue ghosts.

I was waiting at the platform the first time I saw one of those things.  The light was tinted, as it usually is in those places.  A deep blue.  The thing moved really slowly, as though ...
Posted by on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 18:00:00 GMT

je suis fabuleux.

you know, i never write in this anymore.  and it's because i have that other blog that's kind of pretty and all... so here's the link if you're interested. www.jesuisfabuleux.blogspot.com when ...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 03:17:00 GMT

what does second century christianity and homosexuality have in common? this editorial!

I've always had a taste in books that would make my mother scratch her head (or move it from left to right) and that would make my father smile.  My thought process is much more like my fathers I...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 06:34:00 GMT