Faggot ™ The Big Midget ™

Mali
17
Manchestarrr
Single
sex addicted, fag lover
Smoke? Yes
Drink? Yes
Weed? ... =DD
care? No
Don't like it? Fuck off then
i'm plain fucking awesome and if you don't like it, get fucked, coz tbh i don't care
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already happened."
He who knows and knows that he knows is a master.
He who knows and does not know that he knows needs a teacher.
He who does not know and knows that he does not know, needs love.
He who thinks he knows and does not know, is lost.
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
you might as well live
We, the unwilling,
led by the unknowing,
are doing the impossible
for the ungrateful.
We have done so much,
for so long,
with so little,
we are now qualified to do anything
with nothing.
1. Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
2. Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
3. Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
4. Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
5. Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a lighter.
6. Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more you use the better. You cannot overdo this. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
7. Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
8. Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life DOES NOT make for a good sound bite. Ask for news cameras from the major networks. Pace around a lot while waving your arms.
9. DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
10. When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
11. Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
12. Try to steer yourself towards the crowd. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt the fleeing onlookers when you explode.
13. Congratulations! You've just made history.
"It goes a little something like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by beer drinking, making the brain operate faster. The moral of the story, drink more beer, it will make you smarter.. "
My Life's A Riddle, But It Always Has A Moral In Some Way. Let's See If You Can Work It Out
Mali
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x ..