About Me
Well.. i've already received numerous complaints about my about me section... aparently i'm not revealing enough "about me" well here goes; well,..i make sudden and unreasonable changes that will drive others crazy:) i often will take a leap in blind faith,..feeling it's the correct thing to do, no matter what the outcome...routines drive me crazy,.. i follow a voice deep within me, when i dont heed to those inner messages and directions,.. i always seem to regret it.. so often i'll race ahead without watching were i'm going... so now i strive for self-control, calmness to gain an awareness of my path,.. even when a situation may look impossible, i will usually find some workable solution... i'm told that i can be very unorthodox:) but it's because i hate to be bound by restraints, limitations, or boundaries... i wont cast stones at the far-out ideas and ideals of others... i can usually see both sides of a story and make a fair judgement; as long as i'm not directly involved:) if i am i will usually have to calm myself first before reacting... unfortunately my mind is my greatest adversary,.. my mind races ahead of my body... it even difficult for my pen to keep up with my thoughts. it so hard for me to still my mind once it has been set in motion, the fucking wheels keep turning no matter how often i try to stop them... i always need to know,.. knowledge that i dont have fustrates me... i probe, study and, analyze in an attempt to fill the void of uncertainty... but at times i'm so full of questions that i feel i know nothing at all.... in my head every situation has so many variables and possibilities... i know i just drive myself crazy:)
about me... well what can i say... i've been told a lot of things...(many things that i cant mention... kids could be reading this:) lol... but i definitely cant say what most people do... "i'm an open book" but i guess if i was a book, it probably be one with two spines...:): i can tell you i like poetry... big fan of Edgar Allen Poe, i used to draw and paint a lot, but i mainly do photography; only by contract now but for those of you from San Antonio, TX. may remember me from IMAGICA photo. i like animals,.. i have a pet cat named Charlie(who thinks he's a dog:) and i love sushi and long walks on the beach..lol:) Well no one's perfect and i am definitely no exception.. The thoughts that bounce around in my head,.. can only be described as psychotic, (which i recently found out that one of my sisters suffers from the same affliction) yet i am always told that, i am one the nicest most unique individuals that they have ever met,... nice, but i disagree... i know i'm an "asshole" just like everyone else, probably more:) I know myself... so many people feel that they dont know themselves... but the first step is the easiest... we all do it everyday... judge... judge yourself as you would another... knowing all the things you have done, and even the thoughts you've had your entire life,... who else will know the true evils that lie concealed in your heart...
what would you think of that person?
Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
From thy spirit shall they pass
No more--like dew-drop from the grass.
The breeze--the breath of God--is still--
And the mist upon the hill,
Shadowy--shadowy--yet unbroken,
Is a symbol and a token--
How it hangs upon the trees,
A mystery of mysteries!
IV & V Spirits of the Dead by Edgar Allan Poe 1827
Before achieving moral redemption, an individual must take a hard look at evil both in the world and in himself. Only by confronting inner evil can we achieve self-knowledge, which is the first step toward redemption.
Dante Alighieri 1317
At midnight, in the month of june,
I stand beneath the mystic moon.
An opiate vapor, dewy, dim,
Exhales from out her golden rim,
And softly dripping, drop by drop,
Upon the quiet mountain top,
Steals drowsily and musically
into the universal valley.
The rosemary nods upon the grave;
The lily lolls upon the wave;
Wrapping the fog about its breast,
The ruin moulders into rest;
Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
A conscious slumber seems to take,
And would not, for the world, awake.
All Beauty sleeps!-and lo! where lies
Irene , with her Destinies!
The Sleeper Edgar Allan Poe 1831
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