She looks even better with the helmet off..
Your tongues can’t reply flavor of this magnitude!
Fun facts about me!!!
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I don't have hair on my testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
I counted to infinity - twice.
When driving in my Blazer, I always swerve out of the way if a squirrel is in the road. Not because I find their antics amusing, but because it gives me a chance to run over pedestrians.
I once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now jus.. The Islands.
Water boils faster when I watch it.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about me during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
I clog the toilet, even when I piss.
My calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools me.
I once went on Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Matthew Gauthier?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
My dog is trained to pick up his own poop because I will not take shit from anyone.
My sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.
If you try to introduce your mother to me, she'll introduce you to your biological father.
I don't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. My erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
I once ate a whole cake before my friends told me there was a stripper in it.
When I have sex with a man, its not because I’m gay. It will be because I have run out of women.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For me, each testicle is larger than the other one.
I don't throw up if I drink too much. I throw it down!
I once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It takes me 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
I played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
