Im Being Torn Apart Inside- From My Pain I Cannot Hide
I looked up at the sky and realized that it wasn't as blue as it should have been.
I look to the sun and all its warmth has gone, its light so bitter and cold.
My heart stops, skips, then races out of control and I want to cry out in agony.
The pain overcomes me and for just an instant I look death dead in the eye.
I feel as though im being torn apart inside, my chest feels like its caving in.
My thoughts are so hopless and dark, all of his betrayls weighing heavily on my mind.
I try to hide away from them, to hide away from all my thoughts.
I try to smile for just a moment, yet before the moment even happens it slips away.
So very sad, to an unexpressable degree, wondering if the only problem I really have is only within me.
Im like a puppet on strings, functioning only because they depend on me.
The cold sun finally sets, and the dark night brings lonliness, and a river of tears.
My greatest fears come to life and I am terrified, the pain grows stronger, and I weaker.
I weep mournfully, until the river is empty, until I feel nothing but emptiness, and then I fall asleep.
When I wake-- I dont remember my nightmares, but the pain lingers within me.
And as I turn to face this day, I dont see how I will survive.
Though my chances of survival grow dim like the day, I keep on going
and it seems that every hour promises a greater pain than the hour before.
With each hour of this day came another betrayal, in the discovery of his acts of great disrespect.
I take all the pain and put it away in my deepest secret hiding place.
When the sun sets again, I will let the river flow.
I will let the pain cover me like a landslide, an avalanche of cold dark nothingness.
I know although it will hurt nearly more than I can stand, wounds must be made before they can heal.
I look forward to the night, to letting the blood flow from my wounds.
For when I go to sleep, I will rest peacefully once more, and my wounds will begin to heal.
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