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About Me


My name is Amanda, I'm the mommy of a perfect sweet "Angel" named Atlas Phoenix, with my husband Ryan. We got married on July 13th, had our son on Sept. 7th, and he passed away Sept. 20th. He was absolutely perfect and precious, but the hospital didn't do their job!! He was born perfect then got sick when he was 6 days old. The doctors never figured out why he got sick and he developed an infection that took over his little body. He was just to little to fight it, and he fought so hard, but he left us September 20, 2008. It has been the best and worst year of our lives!!! We love and miss our little boy every second of every day, but we just pray we will get justice for our little Atlas, and make sure the hospital and his doctor know what they did was wrong!
Leave Atlas a message on his EVERLASTING MEMORIAL
Leave Atlas a message on his Legacy page
Leave Atlas a message on The Times
Leave Atlas a message HERE!!!


(Please help me to say Thank You to the doctors in Chicago, For trying their hardest to help save Atlas!!!! Forward this to ALL your friends, PLEASE!!!)
Mommy Loves You Atlas


I Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face
My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.
She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.
I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.
But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?
I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.
Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.
Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!



Your Angel
Your life changed when your baby was born.
Your angel was sick and your heart was torn.
This angel that arrived made a difference in your life.
You cried throughout all the heartache and strife.
The time finally came when your angel had to leave.
You didn't understand, you couldn't believe.
Because of this child, your life will never be the same.
This tragedy wasn't your fault, there is no one to blame.
Your angel has gone to a happier place.
Where there is no longer pain, only beauty and grace.
Although you may feel you are miles apart.
Your memories will always remain in your heart.
If I could have a lifetime wish
And one dream that could come true
I would pray to god with all my heart
Just to see and speak to you
A thousand words won't bring you back
I know because I've tried
And neither will a million tears
I know because I've cried
you've left behind my broken heart
And precious memories too
But I never wanted memories
I only wanted you


I See This Face Everywhere I Look :0(




A Message from Heaven
Hush now precious, please don't cry
There comes a time when we all die
Just take heed now that I'm at peace
And from my pain I have release.
I will always be watching over you
Our love will always be held true
Don't you weep now, don't you mourn
For my heart will then be torn.
Just remember the good times we shared
Knowing that we always cared
I've not gone away, we'll never part
As I will always be in your heart.


My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Please don’t tell me
you can have another,
I wanted him.
Please don’t say the
next one will be fine
he was fine, his body was sick.
Please don’t tell me
everything will be all right,
it’s not all right, he’s not here.
Please hug me when the fear comes
without any questions why I’m crying.
Please talk about him with me,
when I bring his name up.
Please don’t feel awkward when I show you
his pictures and baby things I’ve saved.
Please don’t tell me that time heals,
It can never heal this wound.
Please treat him as my son,
we may have had him
for only a couple of days
but he is still my son
Please don’t ever forget Atlas Phoenix.




My Blog

In Atlas' Name

Atlas has been gone for 4 months now, and I wanted to do something in his name to help others! This of course is something a lot smaller then what I had in mind, but from today until his first birthda...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:02:00 GMT

Please dont "DEAL" with me

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my son. The truth is just because you never saw him or got to meet doesn't mean he doesn't deserve your recognition.2. I wish that if we did talk about him...
Posted by on Sun, 26 Oct 2008 00:03:00 GMT

Pregnancy after Loss

Pregnancy after loss is a harrowing and nerve-wracking experience. Once you have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or as an infant, the world of pregnancy takes on a completely different l...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:35:00 GMT

My Normal

My NormalFrom the heart of a bereaved Mother... This is now what "normal" is...Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when I realize someoneimportant is missing from all the important event...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:23:00 GMT

Talking with friends who have lost a child!

TALKING WITH FRIENDS WHO HAVE LOST A CHILD -By Linda WaxlerDo not worry that mentioning the name of the child will "remind" bereaved parents of their child. We remember our child every minute of every...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:49:00 GMT

IF YOU GUYS COULD...............

PLEASE KEEP THE MESSAGES AND COMMENTS ON THIS PAGE ABOUT ATLAS NOW!!! AND SEND ME MESSAGES AND COMMENTS ON MY NEW PAGE!!!!THANK YOU!!!! :-)
Posted by on Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:59:00 GMT

Leave Atlas A Message!!!!

www.mem.comType AZBILLwww.yourlives.nwitimes.comtype Azbillhttp://atlasphoenixazbill.legacy.com http://www.myspace.com/mandahildy 
Posted by on Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:52:00 GMT

They Tortured Our Sweet Angel Atlas!!!

Repost for Atlas - tell his storyAtlas was born Sept. 7, 2008, he was a perfectly healthy baby boy. The day after he was born the doctors found out he had acid reflux so they put him on Zantac and Reg...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:50:00 GMT

Funeral Service For Atlas

Atlas Phoenix AzbillGary, IN.Atlas Phoenix Azbill, 13 days in our arms, forever in our hearts, passed gently into eternity Saturday, September 20, 2008.He was born September 7, 2008 in Munster, IN to ...
Posted by on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Not a black occasion!!!!!!!

if you can, please don't wear black thursday and friday!!!!! We don't want to think of Atlas's life as dark and gloomy!!!! The only time we are going to wear black is when we take care of community ho...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:14:00 GMT