About Me
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with my bare hands. I write award winning cat food slogans. Occasionally, I bathe for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and God-like kazoo playing. I cook 30 minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an outlaw in Timbuktu. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week. When I do sleep, I sleep with my eyes open. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge and I frolic. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
