How do you work this thing??!?!

u see, the changes are so many. there are several of me and all of us fight to show up at the same time...and there is uh, consistent incongruity. do u for instance, understand what i mean when i say i am very tired...i want to scream fuck it all some days and then want to cry...I strangle my words as easily as i do my tears. I stifle my screams as frequently as i flash my smile, it means nothing...because is the why...and why should i care that i cant sound as original as i think my thoughts are, but can you did how it could make me question my thoughts? how did i ever get in this mess-I'm not sure i have/would want it...but like reading breathing or sipp-savorin...hung over ecstacy in what is and aint gon be...I am not an easy woman to want...dont wash out longing for what you never had and cant imagine how you could long for it since u'r not even sure it is anyhow, like u or i is and i really hope that if you read this u will dig where im at and feel what i mean/ that/ where i am could very possibly be real...CM RODGERS/N GIOVANNI