the boy who destroyed the world

my name is chris. the last name, by which everyone refers to me as, is mccabe. yes, i am aware that it's very irish. most people call me either by my last name or call me napoleon. or some other absurd nickname they can think of. people tell me i'm weird. i like to think that i'm eccentric. i've figured out something in the five years since me and my last girlfriend broke up. i've figured out that i work alright alone. but still. i'm looking for someone, ANYONE...available? you bet I am. i like to write whenever i get the chance. writing is a passion of mine. i can harvest my soul through my pen on paper and write whatever comes to mind. if you didn't already know, i'm a freak for writing. totally. i also like listening to music alot. listening to music helps me relate to life. sure, you've probably heard that a lot, but unlike some people, i mean it when i say that. i follow sports. the devils, yankees and giants are my teams. and if your a rangers, mets/red sox or jets/cowboys fan, then i won't talk to you. seriously. i curse way too much for my own good. i've been following wrestling since i was a kid. i can't imagine my life without it, to be honest. feel free to go and redicule me for that... i'm a devout follower of the straight edge sub-culture lifestyle. the good thing about me is that i don't preach and i don't judge, probably because a lot of my friends drink, smoke, and do drugs...i just live a clean life. but if you think i judge people because of what they do and think that i'm better than you, kiss my ass. you don't know me. i work at the mouth of hell in watchung, new jersey called friday's a lot. probably too much for my own good. but you know. it's the clientele/tale(?) that keeps me going. and the wonderful monkeys i have for co-workers. and that's just the beginning of the drama... my friends are pretty cool people. they make me laugh and wonder what life outside of earth is like a lot. most of them haven't come in contact with a woman in ages..other then their mothers, that is. but i still love them. even if i'm the one who gets teased for...*GASP*...treating women with respect? such a novel concept...but that's why i love them. a lot of my co-workers are really cool people. they're a bunch of characters. i stay at the mouth of hell because of them. the rest of them? eh, they're all idiots... i can be shy around girls sometimes. but then again, who isn't? i like laughing. it's an escape for me. i try to be a good kid...most of the time. i know what i want and what i don't want. most of the time. conflict can be pretty cool sometimes. i wonder what i'll do with my life sometimes. life's a series of questions. you just gotta find the answers. i can't stand sluts. no really, i can't. i hate ignorance, childish antics, people who make up excuses for their own failures, sluts, my job(depending on the day), liars, people who can't grow up, spiders, clowns, rap music, r&b music, country music, girls who act as if they're the queen of fucking england (sorry Di), bad memories that won't go away, and meat-headed douchebags among other things. but trust me, i AM NOT a hateful person in any way. if you think i don't like you...then you're probably right. contrary to what my friends, co-workers and family say, i am NOT a smart kid either. the last one was a lie. i am pretty smart. i just choose not to act it sometimes. acting stupid is fun, fun, fun! i'm a huuuuuge, HUGE feminist. i don't get off on women degrading themselves so they can get ahead (sorry friends of mine, no strip clubs for me.) i don't like it when guys try to take advantage of women. i don't like it when women fuck with their lives and end up with nothing. i don't like it when my friends spend twenty minutes talking about girls in a derogatory manner. call me gay all you want (lord knows I haven't heard that before), but women are the some of the most powerful people in my life, and they're great influences. say what you want, i don't care. i stand by my beliefs. i'm content with who i am and what i've got. but sometimes i wonder...i wonder about what i could be missing out on. i fluctuate from happy to sad nearly five times a day and i enjoy the ride. i live in a daydream. i believe in magic. miracles do exist. i'm a bit of a loner, but any company on the ride called life is welcome (trust me) never, EVER punch a doorknob. ever. anger was my forte in my adolescence. most kids are angry when they're young. but now, it's whatever. happiness, anger...they're all a part of life. i just try to be as happy as possible. yeah, my senior prom date was cool. she punched a douche in the head. fun times. it's been nearly a year since i cut my hair, and yes, i still miss it. i'd take a bullet for most of my friends if it meant they'd be alright and continue to live a prosperous life. that way i'd go out on a good note... i usually find myself awake at night thinking about what i've got ahead of me in life. i love to sleep. but i also love to stay up late. i enjoy taking pictures of abstract things real late at night. it's cool how things look different at night. i enjoy walking home from work at 1 am in the morning and taking said pictures. which then leads to... my friends at work, however, hate it when i walk home and want to kick my ass everytime i do. so nobody lets me walk home anymore. for real. i still end up walking sometimes, though. then they find out. then they yell at and berate me for being stupid. i think it's ok for boys and men to cry. everyone has to once in a while. pink looks gooood on me. if you didn't notice, pink's my favorite color. my friends wonder why i chose to be straight edge. here's why. it wasn't fun anymore. but who knows. people change their minds... i get a kick out of interacting with the various drunks i encounter at work. one of my best friends is 17 years old and he's cooler than you. and he's a dancing queen. wanna mess with him? didn't think so. this is why we don't have nice things. i'm an easy going dude for the most part. but if i don't like you...i can be pretty hostile. i like people. but seeing as i work at the mouth of hell, i'm starting to think that i absolutly hate them... why do people think soccer is cool? soccer died out years ago...or when david beckham brought his human plastic toy to america...specifically, los angelas. i support the troops in iraq. i don't give a fuck what anyone says, they're fighting for what we all believe in...freedom. and we should all be allowed to have our freedom, right? 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