add. msg. nudes
maybe I dont want to get better, maybe I'd rather watch everyone around me grow, form and manipulate into everything I wish I could have been for years... maybe I'd rather feel neglected and alone maybe, I'd rather sit in the cold alone drinking wine without you. its not that I miss you, its not that I need you, its that I have no one else, its because im alone and no one else made me feel any closer to whole that you did.
fall never looked so beautiful as it did that day, I could look at you and you would smile. I could hold your hand and you would look at me and say I was like no one else. I still remember going on my toes to hug you while my body tried to pull me away. I still remember leaving my safe place to be with you. I still remember his words when I told him I didn't feel the same anymore. I remember my tears when I would fight for you.
fall is at its end, and the beauty is gone, a gust of cold wind is all I have now, the flowers dont blossom anymore, you dont smile anymore...your not there anymore, and your words have become short sitting at the tip of your tongue. the moon isnt so bright anymore, the ducks and fish really dont catch my attention any longer...the woods really dont speak for me any longer.
I could push, i could fight but whats the point of my oxygen. your walking away and your taking parts of me with you. loving words havent been in company...loving you has become a job not a pleassure, loving me has become the impossible.
those fall days really dont fade for me, I could live in them just to remember that I was once your smile, that you once took my hand, you were once happy with me ,you once thought of me, that you once...possibly...loved me...
please bring back the fall.
