PLASTIC X

To understand PLASTIC X you need to understand the psychology behind their brain chemistry. Mike Salvini, the lead singer and original founding of The Heretix is far from normal. After a brief stint with thinking he was some Goth, he reinvented himself as an angry rapper/rocker and PLASTIC X was born. He promises future songs from their extremely old record soon, which I am sure you do not want to hear. Anyway, soon joined by his brother Robert Salvini as guitarist, Chris Laplante as bass player and Jeff Gollings on drums and they set out to do a very heavy rock, rap, punk band called PLASTIC X. With a much-needed make over on the guitar and drum section, Chris Bartlett and Jimmy Roberge joined while kicking Gollings out of the band. This first line up, being way ahead of their time, often played shitty shows to no people. After deciding to do original music the band soon created a new sound that attracted a scene that rivaled that of early DC hardcore days. This new scene quickly became the place to be and many new bands popped up in the wake of PLASTIC X’s creation.Seeing PLASTIC X live was an emotional experience as there was always a fight, insurance claim, police visit or many other experiences that had absolutely nothing to do with music. Young Salvini was often in trouble for pulling his cock out on stage. In one show he went on stage wrapped in only cellophane with penis tip sticking out and I think a ball was awkwardly showing too but was he escorted out of the show by the Northampton Police and yet again embarrassed his already emotionally scared family. Chris Bartlett often served as the go between as Mike would attack bouncers, fans and club owners. Always a fucking scene at any PX show. Girls were often asked to leave, we only loved them when the dick was hard. In the drunken state of both Bartlett and Salvini(m) there was never a moment of peace at any show. This was a dilemma to most club owners as PX made paper for them and they often suffered the insane behavior of the band.PLASTIC X always had visuals at their shows, signs that read, “We fuck antelope”, “We Jerk Off to club MV” among others while playing hard core porn on every monitor in the bar. The audience was a mix of 10 to 20 year olds getting their first lesson in anal/vagina simultaneous injections. This excited the band and often led to many under age fuckings in the cars and hotels (if the bitch paid) or even the occasional begging, from Mike, for youngsters to show him their ass crack???? WTF! Anyway, it was totally fucked up time and shit happened that could never happen today.Chris and Mike had very disturbing sexual appetites and often shared MILFS when it was not in style. Opting for a dirty men’s room or the back seat of Bartlett’s SAAB, it got done. Robert was also getting laid but it was always a fucking mystery. He sat back most times and sadly watched the steady decline of the band as Mike steadily destroyed it., as he does EVERYTHING in his life. Speaking of the SAAB, one night in the loop of Cracker Barrel Alley in Noho Rob, Mike and Chris raced their BMW’s and SAAB until the police came and had them empty their beers. Salvini and Bartlett retaliated this by taking a city parking meter. After getting it open and finding 4 quarters, it was a sad reality the band members all shared, bitter failure. I mean there is losing then there is REALLY LOSING. This was the cold reality time and time again; failure but the lessons are what the band carries today along with loneliness, mental disorders and unpaid bills. Take the night Salvini got 2 seventeen-year-old girls from Greenfield to pay for a room and allow him to treat them like barnyard animals. This was not enough as Salvini, he had to allow his friend Chris in on the action where they broke into a cabin and anally assaulted these poor, young sluts. What happened after that? Well the girls found out that Mike DID NOT have any of the shit he said he had and was infact a complete loser. This led to a third mission being impossible. But fuck it was soooo gooood! Call me some time.Another time, Bartlett was allowed to join the ranks of Mike’s castle of poverty with plenty of peeking holes. This apartment was unpaid for about 8 months and Mike needed the cash to pay the landlord or he would have been thrown out. I guess by coincidence, Bartlett’s girlfriend was hot and Mike planned to assault her by spying on her every chance he got. So completely fucked up. Bartlett was always against the keyholes trying to watch Mike’s girl’s massive, round ass. So many violations in psychology that it is hard to even test this. So dysfunctional. This particular night in 91 the police came to investigate a report of spousal abuse coming from the Salvini/Bartlett apartment. This was a very bad choice for the young officers as they were quickly introduced to an experience I am sure causes them nightmares today. Aluminum Louisville Slugger was the instrument Mike opened the door with. Quickly informing the police that if they set foot in his house he would kill them with his bat. Jeered on by Bartlett’s yelling “kill them” in the background soon led to him joining the battle with a unicycle. Salvini managed to get the police down the back stairs a few steps when Bartlett introduced the flying unicycle, which after bouncing off their car scared them away for good. Isn’t this a multitude of crimes? But, I guess out of complete humiliation they neglected to tell their fellow officers of their complete fear of two 23 year olds.The amount of things this duo did that were against the law, in plain view of the law, was laughable. They never once paid the price for anything they did wrong aside from the mental dysfunction they suffer today out of utter disappointment.The fans could not get enough of the thumping guitars, crashing drums of a music born out of the belly of hardcore and today’s trash metal. Mike, being obsessed with rap music often slammed his vocals down with heavy hip-hop influences. It was an incredible sight to see this band, a PX show was more than just the music but a chance to see what law was broken or who was on PLASTIC X’s shit list that week. Songs like “Fuck Green peace”, “Ain’t No Threat Just a Fucking Dyke” and “Less Smoke More Fire” often crossed the road of expectable puns and totally came across as a verbal civil rights violations. It also seemed that anytime the band came out with a offensive song like the Dyke tune, that had lesbians protesting the shows, often came out on a t-shirt that 15 year olds would where all over the valley. The lesbian shirt was perfect and it did just what the band (Chris and Mike) wanted it to do, cause a crisis and piss off everybody. It really did not matter if they believed in what they were saying it was offensive and caused allot of hate. The fame of the band grew out of the philosophy of ‘it does not matter what they say as long as they keep saying it’ and this worked perfect for the band.After they made another replacement in the band of Chris Laplante for Pete Kim the band finally was complete. The fans loved his 10-minute bass solo. The influences ranged with so much originality that the sound was addictive. Even today the songs borderline on “Is this new?” as the music has now come full circle. Just like bell bottoms the sound in coming back and PX needed to be here, once again, to prove we already did this shit but we’ll take our fucking platinum plaque this time around as you niggas owe us. Bitter? Fuck yes! We did limp biscuit when they were still suckin’ on their mother’s tits. You paid them? We paid our dues and we expect to be paid back. Please send check to our PayPal if you were influenced by PX. We mean it.The new funked out, hip hop, metal, hardcore, made the people sick. They just were not ready. They were like crack heads, they hated their addiction but they had to serve their master who was PLASTIC X. Unknown to them young Salvini laced every lyric with hypnotics that really fucked these people up. I mean is it a coincidence that every PX fan now has borderline personality disorder? The fans could not get enough and PX was always there with a healthy dose of music that captured that week’s offensiveness. Watching the fans at a show was like watching Corrosion of Conformity playing at the Sanctuary Theatre in DC in 83. Stage divers, thrashers, moshers crashing to the insane sounds of this band. Every fan present could be given the mic, which they often were as Salvini went to get some more vodka, knew every lyric. It was insane; they could do every song verbatim. It was a beautiful thing. This went on from 89 to 92 and everyone knew who they were, most loved them and sadly watched them disband and never receive the credit they deserved for a sound that has evolved into what is today’s vast mix of metal crossovers. The people that remember the band are no doubt in the masses of myspace and will soon emerge to testify to the antics of the band.

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