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After a tearful departure from the Russian state circus last october, of which had become my serrogate family whilst on the run from scotland yards money laundering investigation team, I 'jade lyons' aka Rosa lee bromvanoshki have returned to my homeland of south east london. I am currently on trial for the crime of my wayward youth, at the tender age of 12 i was forced into a life of crime and debaucherie as i became the youngest teabag peddler on the streets of wisconsin, i ended up there fighting for survival when my evil stepmother married captain barbosa infamous pirate of the atlantic ocean. Much like in my previous lifetime as an exiled isreali princess i had to escape down stream durin a rum heist in between the carribean docks. I washed up on the american coastline tangled in an old crab ridden fishing net covered in sea sick, clutching a bottle of newly packaged barbosa rum and 4000 teabags. I resourcefully used these materials to construct a pimp pad innerstate, much like my predassessor (ginger legend elora dannan- my inspiration for living) i was gifted with a talent for construction. Anyways i ended up with riches beyond my wildest dreams accepting cameos in hip-hop videos having it large with fiddy. But i got caught up in the good life lent money to homies for there special needs, plus the fact that i didn't have a visa as they are ridiculously expensive, i ended up getting deported never to return to the states again. I fled before they had a chance to get me in the docks at the old bailey, this is when i found refuge travelling across the seas to russia, until a month ago when DCI Woodcroft scotland yard foiled my plans and bugged my mobile then proceeded to shoot dead my midget lover elsie - oh how i miss her.And the rest is pretty much history catch my trial on E! hollywood news...Free the south east one!!