Music Movies Sports, Bio Chemical Enginering, Quantum Physics or is that Leap, Beer, Wine, Liquor, Sake, Illicit Drugs, Serial Killers, The Mob in all of its beautifal Ethnic Forms, History (all of it), Oceanography, the Titanic, Large Natural Disasters, Billy Zapka Films, Mall Culture or the study of Mall Culture, Young impresionable Girls, Dismembering Prostitutes (Haven't Done That in a While), and most importantly YOU
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Your Mom's sister, any one with a moist hole in their crotch, Jack Nicholson, Jimmy Dean (either one I'm not picky), and most importantly YOU
Ready You Sexy Bitch: Reagan Youth, Murphys Law, Ed Gein's Car, AOD, Madball, The Truents, Cro-Mags, Slayer, NRSV, Camron, John Denver, Queens of the Stone Age, Naked Raygun, Shell Shock, Verbal Abuse, The Misfits (Michale Graves years only), Allure, Iron Madien, The Effigies, Clutch, King Tubby, Bad Brains, Drive-By Truckers, Agnostic Front, The Unruly, Dead Kennedys, Angry Samoans, Anti-NoWhere Leauge, DEVO, Nerosis (Just Souls at Zero) Black Flag, The Germs, The Damned, Sheer Terror, Dave Clark Five, Butthole Surfers, Chron-Gen, Eagles of Death Metal, WHAM!!, Prince Nelson Rodgers, The FU's, The Pouges, Pro-Pain, Sham 69, Muckey Pup, Primus, 7 Seconds, Dead Boys, The Cars, CCR, The Templars, Herman's Hermits, The Dickies, Jerry's Kids, Agent Orange, Alice Cooper (70's shit), Elvis, Teenage Head, TurboNegro, Negative Approach, Sex Pistols, The Freeze, Government Issue, The Scientists, Zappa, Faith No More, Jesus Lizard, 999, NoMeansNo, DOA, The Krays, The Shit, The Candy Snatchers, Southern Culture On The Skids, Ween, Therapy?, Jesus Lizard, Rubber City Rebals Black Sabbath, Electric Frankenstein, Madness, Michael Bolton, Wanda Jackson, Kenny G, Partisans, Dwarves, Johnny Thunders, Crass (make fun, but their still fun), SUB-HUMANS (UK), Underdog, The Vandels (STEVO only), Warzone, Downlow, Metallica, Wreached Ones, Ratt Byte, Killing Joke, Ramones, Kraut, Hanson Brothers, Early Man, Groovie Ghoulies, Dayglo Abortions, Gang Of Four (New Album is the Shit), GG Allin, Slaughter and the Dogs, Husker DU, Kyuss, Ghetto Boyz, Clutch, Ringo Star (NO NO NO Song), The Weary Boys, Zeke, GBH and Kenny Loggins, and anything else that is along these strict lines, and most importantly YOU and what ever YOU like
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FLETCH (Are You Taping This? No No Never Never), Private Parts (You God Damned Mother Fuckers), Sexy Beast (I'm Giving You An Opportunity to Turn This No into a Yes), True Romance (You Want Me To Suck His Cock?), Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Natural Born Killers, Kill Bill I & II (insert your own quotes),Maniac Cop, Blue Brothers (We're The Good Olde Boys), Anchorman, Dog Day Afternoon (not that quoteable), Rebecca (be honest most of you don't even know this one), Shaun of The Dead (Fine, But Dogs can Look Up), Unforgiven (I've Killed Most Everything That Walks or Crawls, And Now I'm Here to Kill You Little Bill For What You Done to Ned.), Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, The Hard Way (Why Don't You Go Tie Your Dick In A Knot?), The Exorcist (Do You Know What She Did? Your Cunting Daughter.), National Lampoon's Vaction Movies (FUCK OFF IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEM). All those Bourne Movies. Police Acadamy 1-4 (No Guttenburg=No Good), The Shining (I Love The Little Son Of A Bitch), Clockwork Orange (haven't watched it in years, just cause I watched it to much years ago), Doctor Strangelove (Well, I've been to One World Fair, A Picnic, And A Rodeo, And That's The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard Come Over A Set of Earphones.), Full Metal Jacket (Big Whats up to Irvington Reident Arliss Howard), Little Miss Sunshine (Listen to me, I got no reason to lie to you, don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. Fuck a lotta women kid, not just one woman, a lotta women.), Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, King Of New York (They're for the bullet holes, Bitch!), Bad Lieutent (Show Me How You Suck A Guys Cock), Return Of The Living Dead (Well, It's A Puzzle Because, Technically, You're Not Alive. Except You're Conscious, So We Don't Know What It Means?), Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (Come on admit it), Gladiator (yeah I know), Guyana Tragedy: The Story Of Jim Jones (Powers Boothe Rules), Shot Through The Heart (Gary Gilmore Movie), Fight Club (Yup), Lean On Me (Ya Smoke Crack, Don't Ya Sams), City Of God (I Don't Speak Portuguesse), True Beliver (Good fight? You Think I'm Going Into Court To Make A Fucking Statement? You Think Shu Is A Shit, We Go Down, But Go Down Nobly? This Is A Man Looking At 40 Years Of HARD TIME! He Could've Had A Deal And Been Out In 5, But He Bet It All On ME! Don't Give Me That Liberal Yuppie Bullshit About A Good Fight, This Isn't Fucking Yale! A Good Fight Is One You WIN.), Repoman (What About Our Relationship? FUCK THAT.), Hot Shots (Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!), Airplane (The survival of everyone on board depends on just one thing: finding someone on board who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.), Naked Gun, Naked Gun Two and a Half, Naked Gun 33 and a Third (Rember He's Not Guilty Just Responsible for the death of his Ex and Ron "Her Fuck Budy" Goldman.), Blazing Saddles (What In The Wild Wide Word Of Sports Is A going on here? I hired you guys to lay SOme Track, Not dance around like a bunch Of Kansas City Faggots.), Spaceballs (Fuck, Even things in the future don't work!), Mystic River (Just Makes You Feel good inside), Billion Doller Baby (Ditto), Silence Of The Lambs (Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, ma'am, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?), Desperado (Bad beer, bad service. Don't people know not to come in here?), Tapeheads (Remember what we did to Jello Biafra?), Evil Dead I & II (Surprising huh?), Army Of Darkness (Who would have though?), P.C.U (You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day. You installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps and, most recently, you dumped 100 pounds of... MEAT on a peaceful vegan protest!), Last House On The Left (How'd we get into the sex crime business anyway? My brother, Saul, a plumber, makes twice as much money as I do and gets three weeks vacation too.), Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!), Goodfellas (Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.), Mean Streets (You see, I borrow money all over this neighborhood, left and right from every BODY, I never pay them back. So, I can't borrow no money from nobody no more, right? So, who would that leave me to borrow money from but you? I borrow money from you, because you're the only jerk-off around here who I can borrow money from without payin' back, right? You know, 'cause that's what you are, that's what I think of you: a jerk-off.), Taxi Driver (You'll See it eventually if not, Someday a Real Rain will come, and wash the scum off the street.), Casino (You Jew Mutter Fucker), King Of Comedy (I know, Jerry, that you are as human as the rest of us, if not more so.), The Departed (Here's some cocaine, don't come up til your numb), Gangs Of New York (The appearance of law must be upheld, especially when it's being broken.), After Hours (Shows how much you know about art. The uglier the art, the more it's worth.), Raging Bull (You punch like you take it up the ass.), Wag The Dog (It's like a plumber: if you do it OK, nobody notices, if you fuck up, it gets full of shit.), Godfather I & II (No Duvall=No Good), Rocky I & III ( Two is just like one except he wins, and four is okay, five never happened), Batman (Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.), Beatlejuice(Hey, Nice Fuckin Model), Godzilla, King Kong, Creature From The Black Lagoon, Frankenstein, Dracula, The Blob, Rodin, Mothra, The Wolfman (all those old time Horror/Monster classics), Field of Dreams (GAY), Major League (Can't go Wrong with combo of Snipes, Berenger, and Sheen), Slap Shot (You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get married again 'cause he's gonna wind up with somebody's cock in his mouth before you can say 'Jack Robinson'.), Bad News Bears(All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!), Jaws (So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.), Saving Private Ryan, Ghost Busters ( Let's show this prehistoric bitch who we do things Downtown.), Caddyshack (Your uncle molests collies), Uncle Buck (Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.), JFK (Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left.), Who's Harry Crumb? (My reputation precedes me. Otherwise I'd be late for all my appointments.), Armed and Dangerous (Yeah, it's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with. Up close! It's only legal in two states. This isn't one of them), Stripes (Lighten up, Francis.), Tommy Boy, Black Sheep (Both wonderful Cinimatic Experiances), Shaft, Shaft's Big Score, Shaft in Africa (Not Really, but the other two kick ass), The Deer Hunter (HOME?), State Of Grace (They don't even want to call it "Hell's Kitchen" no more. Renamed it "Clinton".), Glengarry Glen Ross (You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac.), Needful Things (You know, guys, I moved here and I thought, Great! I'm outta the big city and I'm finally in a place where everybody isn't gonna be crawling up everybody's asshole every day! A place where maybe my biggest nightmare is gonna be getting some goddamn cat out of a tree! But forget that! EVERYBODY IS INSANE, EVERYWHERE! ), Network (We're not a respectable network. We're a whorehouse network, and we have to take whatever we can get), Die Hard, Die Hard 2:Die Harder, Die Hard With Avengence (Hey Carl Winslow's Harmless Black Character is Replaced by Samuel L. Jackson's Militant Black Character.), Long Kiss Goodnight (Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.), The Last Boy Scout (Sorry, my subscription to JUGGS magazine ran out.), Donnie Darko (I saw it in Theaters, hey Bitch Nice Box), Bubba Ho-Tep (Suck The Dog Dick of Anubis), Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (Saw this at the multi-plex, payed for myself and everything, four bucks.), Mo Money (FUNNY!!!), White Men Can't Jump (Woody and Wesley need to do more films, Money Train Disapointed.), Monty Python (all of 'em, this is getting tire some.), Alien, Aliens, Aliens III (like those), Goonies (Thats What I said Bootty Traps.), Halloween I & II (Bit of a snob what can I say), Big Lebowski (This is What Happens when You FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS.), Fargo (He Was Kinda Funny Lookin, Ya Know.), Rushmore (good stuff), Wedding Crashers (The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me.), Any Given Sunday (Hey it's got L.T. in it and if you don't know who that is FUCK OFF.), Kids In the Hall: Brain Candy (Were's Dad? Upstairs Masterbaiting to Gay Porn.), LA Confidental (So Much Better then Titanic, Still upset about this one.), Dead Zone (Your Finished.), Wayne's World (Hey Kinkey Sex Makes the world Go Round.), Clockers (Better then Juice.), Decline Of Western Civilization (Lee Ving's Finest Preformance to date), SuBuRBia (We're with Citizens Against Crime.), Five Easy Pieces (I Want You To Hold It Between Your Knees.), Beverly Hills Cop II (Don't Think Axel, it makes my Dick Itch.), Beverly Hills Cop (Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.), Coming To America (Just Let Your Soul Glo.), Johnny Dangerously (Show it to the kids.), Blue Velvet (Here's to your Fuck.), House Of 1000 Courpses, Devils Rejects (Fun for the whole family, well maybe just you and your dogs.), The Warriors (Not this new Cartoony thing that got out now, restore it please I'm Begging.), Awakenings (I don't know why, but I watch it every time it's on.), Strange Days (Lenny Nero Rules.), And well I just keep adding 'em...
Homicde Life on the Streets, The Wire, Oz, Carnivale, Ali G, Shorties Watching Shorties, Modern Marvels, Raines, The State, Kids In The Hall, Old SNL, George Carlin Show, SledgeHammer, NewsRadio, ALF, Wlcome Back Kottor, Enginering an Empire (Robo-Cop is the host), Arrested Development, Dog Whiperer, Curb, Pimp My Girl (ADULTS ONLY!!!), American Experience, No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain, The Munsters, A-Team(Got that box set mutha fucka), ESPN (Big Sports Geek), Countdown W/ Keith Olbermen (Representing The Village of Haistings on Hudson), The Soup, Howard Stern on E!(RIP), and a whole lot more, and YOU I'm watching YOU.
Joe R. Landsdale, Chuck Palahniuk, True Crime, History and anything else you lend me and never get back
Barry Sanders, Captin Nemo, Voltaire, RUDY, Gallelo, Uncle Dave (for never touching me), Jonah Alexander Schwartz, Jermey Paschachello Dash, Christian "The Animal" D'Andrea, Davidoff Leiber, Don Logan, Mathew Patrick Goodwin, NWA, Joesph Georgio, Brian "The Irish Jew", Michael Keaton Sean Joesph Freeman and most importantly YOU!!!