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.....Like things got inside her and bent and twisted, and then things inside her wrapped and twisted around the bent and twisted things, and then when you get near her she reaches out and grabs you and bends and twists And she says one thing and does another, and she changes all the time,because she's just like mercury...because i am the girl on the car in the parking lot..and the black haired flamenco dancer ..and i'm walking on a wire in a circus ... and i parked my car outside his house and took all my clothes off i think i'm close to understanding jesus ..and i'm more than just a little misunderstood i have trouble acting normal when i'm nervous..she's slipping through my hands...she says shhh i know it's only in my head ..I've got things to say to you baby and i'm sure theres things you want to say to me ..life is like a pindrop life is like a gun shot love is like a pindrop.. this is not the way I was thinking.. this is not is what i was dreaming of god damn why won't somebody take me away .. not everyone is happy.. not everyone is okay ..what color is your sky tonight baby hey ... i got this gray sky and i can't get it out of my head ...do you have a blue sky for me ...all the rain it won't go away it comes back each and every day ... i've got holes inside of me and you can't fill them up again you put these holes inside of me... can't you see my walls are tumbling down can't you see my moons not spinning around ... she looks up at the building .. she's thinking of jumping she says sick and tired of life we're all sick and tired of something...what if i wasn't lying and what if you weren't gone .. what if we dreaming after thinking about it for so long ... what if this was the one last chance to make something alright .. wouldn't you feel bad ..and wouldn't i feel stupid talking to you ... if you wrap yourself in daffodils I will wrap myself in pain .. and baby if your the queen of California I am the king of rain ..i just had no intention of living this way .. i need a phone call , i need a plane ride .. and i get no answers and i don't get no change ..there's things i remember theres things i forget i miss you i guess that i should 3,500 miles away what would you change if you could ..you try to tell yourself the things you tell yourself to make yourself forget....asleep in perfect blue buildings beside the green apple sea i'm want to get me a little oblivion and keep myself away from myself and me ...in beds in little rooms in buildings in the middle of these lives which are completely meaningless ...I've been doing alot of thinking about this whole about me section at first I thought maybe I needed to work on it. It sounded really nice and really easy at first but then I start typing and I felt instantly retarded !!! I really wanted it to be "interesting",
but I got tired trying to think of things to say it's not the "about me" section I need to work on "it's me" I'm not going to
get very deep into all that right now I'm going to keep this very basic. I'm 29 (too darn close to 30), I have five beautiful kids and two awesome step sons that I live and breathe for I'm in recovery some days are better than others it's a learning process and it takes work which lately I haven't been doing much of. I have a little brother he just finished his first tour in Afghanistan and will be deploying again this fall I love him with all my heart. I also have a little sister she has an Alex :) LOL. Over the past two years I've gone through some major changes and some minor crisis' here and there. I'm on a mission to be as nice as possible to everyone I meet, I spent way to many years being a bitch because I thought I had too. I'm really shy, I hate going places that aren't familiar to me, I talk alot when I'm nervous if I know you. I have some really awsome people in my life who put up with an awful lot of my drama, I guess you can say I am a very lucky girl I forget that sometimes. I have some great friends who live way too far away from me. I miss them .
