Lloyd profile picture

Lloyd

dragoncaviar

About Me

First off, let me clarify one thing - I'm better than you, you're all cunts, and I don't like any of you.
That's from just one evening of reading myspace. Oh yes, how you all suck.
You're all either fat, stupid, wierd, retarded, boring, ugly, retarded, dull, generally shit, retarded or retarded. Or worst of all, fat and retarded. Seriously, I know just about everyone has a myspaz account, but really, you're all fucking morons. There, now the awkward ice-breaker's out the way, I'll continue.
So this is where I tell you all how I'm an outgoing person that likes music and drinks, and can't spell or type anything even remotely correct, right?
Blah - me:
I'm me, nothing else. I'm not going to get all emo on you and tell you how I love bullet for my valentine and frequently slit my throat for kicks.
I've been singing at the Cathedral in Bury since I was ... hmm what 7 years old? Sounds about right. I've also been studying Taishindo karate since I was 7. I passed my first Dan black belt in 2002, and since then I gave up, grew a gut, and forgot everything I used to know. Now I'm about as useful in a fight as a bloated slug. I do however sing a fair bit, and should be taking my diploma fairly soon.
I'm a bit of a computer nerd. Ex Linux fanboy, but now I really can't be bothered with all the crap, so it's back to the world of Winshit and Vista for me.
I like to believe I'm a music freak too, although there are bound to be others who insist I know absolutely nothing about music, my taste is tripe, and I'm a waste of space, but I'll let my last.fm page speak for me. (My Last.fm account)
I'd also like to remind you that you really won't get an accurate impression of me from reading this. For example, I'm yet to mention my interest and love of psychoactive chemicals, but they play an important role in my life.
I also haven't mentioned certain people that are important to me, and I'm not going to, purely for the sake of consistancy. If you want to get to know me, I'm sure you'll make the effort to do so properly.

My Interests

Most things will hold my interest to some extent. There are of course things that interest me more than others. These include:
Music (classical, not your crappy pop/rock/emo/rap/metal/punk/god knows what else!)
Philosophy (Nietzsche, Sartre, Voltaire, and to a lesser extent Socrates. Plato can lick my scrotum. In the words of Nietzsche: "Plato is boring".)
Chemistry (of the explosive kind)
Life in general
Physics (astro-physics and theoretical physics are good fun, if not well above my head).
Computers
Psychoactive chemicals
Alcohol

I'd like to meet:

Tough question. I like to try and choose a shortlist of 5 contenders that would be at a dinner party if I could choose anyone dead or alive.
My list would have to consist of:
Maurice Duruflé
Jesus (Whether you believe in God or not, we know there was a man who stood out 2000 years ago - he's the man I'd like to meet)
Jeff Buckley
Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina
Hitler
You may decide now that I'm a fascist and have no place on this earth, but whether you like it or not, Adolf Hitler played his part in deciding how this planet ends up. He was an influential man to a great deal of people, and there had to be a reason for that. Besides that, before the Nazi's ended up declaring anyone who wasn't white, tall, slim, blonde with blue eyes as not fit for anything but dog meat, they had one of the most prosperous and economically stable societys.
For those who don't know, Palestrina was a musician who lived from 1525 to 1594. He sculpted the way that music would evolve. Before him, there was just Gregorian chants. He "invented" if you like, music in a contemporary sense. I, personally, regard him as a greater importance than Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, or any of your contemporary shitty "musicians" (and I use the term loosely).
Jeff Buckley was phenomenal. Whilst a lot of his songs were merely other peoples with his unique "twist" - he did twist them bloody well. A vocal span of 4 octaves. That's impressive enough. If I now tell you (for anyone that knows what I mean in this) that that's 4 octaves without touching his Falsetto range, you should be even more gobsmacked.
Jesus would be the resident loser in the corner. SMITE ME DOWN GOD! I COMMAND THEE. (Since writing this profile, my religious status has shifted from conservative agnostic to strong atheist). No, I tell a lie, I'd still prefer to be considered agnostic, but Jesus fucking Christ, conventional religion really got the wrong end of the stick didn't it?
Maurice Duruflé is ... incredible. Definately my favourite musician at the moment. Such emotional power, feeling, and meaning within his music. Ok, that's sounding emo, but if I tell you he's a classical composer, that should restore my Anti-Emo ethos.
Basically, he's (imho) the Palestrina, Bach, Handel, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms or Chopin of his time.
So, in a nutshell - that's who I'd most like to meet. It varies from time to time, and the only issue with that list is that all 5 are dead. Ahh well, they were all no doubt boring in real life anyway.

Music:


That's my "Last.fm" recently played tracks list. I expect most will despare at my "wierd" taste in music, but most people don't know what they're talking about :)
YES THAT MEANS YOU! That's right, I'm better than you, and your taste in music is shit.

Movies:

I really couldn't give you a favourite, or even a list of favourites. There are so many, spanning across so many different genres. I'll watch anything, almost without exception, and in all the time I've been watching films, I've only come across a few really bad ones.
Some of the bad ones include:
Ice Age
Madagascar
Shrek
Shrek 2
Just about anything made by pixar
Anyone see a pattern yet? Good - you guessed it - Animation!
I detest the fact that my peers seem to fall in love with these abominations people try to call films. As if that's not bad enough - these are films made and designed for 6 year olds.
Would someone please explain to me what is so funny about seeing a talking donkey repeatedly ask "Are we there yet"? It's not even real. Sure - if it were real, I could appreciate the humour in that, but what ever happened to good english humour?
Black Adder and Monty Python are brilliant.
I just can't see the appeal in this shitty American invented "Slap you in the face" humor. Laurel and Hardy not trying to make themselves look like pricks.
"Hey, Look, there's a tiltering 5 tonne block of bricks. I'll just go and park my car under it, and wait to see what happens shall I? My golly gosh, this will be funny, oh, but of course, I don't know it will be funny yet, because it hasn't happened, and I shouldn't think it will be funny when it does happen"
*returns to car*
"Oh no! My car is broken. What a shame. Wasn't that funny!"
Oh, and for the Americans who didn't pick up on it, that last paragraph was intended as sarcasm.Some claim that humour cannot or should not be explained. Author E. B. White once said that "Humour can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind."That means "If you don't get it, Fuck off."

Television:

I don't watch a great deal of television, but there are a few things recently that have stood out above the rest. In recent times, there have only been a few, and they are:
Lost
24
Without a Trace
Prison Break
Spooks
House
And most recently of all - Planet Earth.
I don't know how people can be so ignorant of the beauty all around them. Watch Planet Earth and you'll know what I mean if you're not one of the "Ignorant" ones.

Books:

I hate to say it, but I don't read anywhere near as much as I should. I'm working through a pile at the moment though. These include:
Mario Puzo - The Godfather
Stephen Fry - The Incomplete and utter history of Classical Music
Harroch Krieger - Poker for Dummies
Rosemarie Jarski - Great British Wit
Dave Pelzer - The Child Called It trilogy
David Browne - Dream Brother
Making steady progress through all of them. I really should read more, but meh. The way I see it is at least I read at all which is more than I'd say 80-85% of my peers.

Heroes:

I don't really have "Heroes" as such.
People I look upto, yes.
People I want to be, yes.
People I aspire to be, yes.
My "Heroes" would probably be 3 of my "Who you'd like to meet" list - those three (you'll be pleased Hitler isn't one of them) are:
Maurice Duruflé
Jeff Buckley
Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina