Nasry - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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I'm a standup comic who's just looking for friends. God, knows I could use some. So join my comedy army and rule the world or the local 7/11. You have probably seen me in such movies as......Ahh who are we fooling.. Anyway, please check out my website, Nasry.com. Also please check out my video on Comedy Central's Motherload. Here's the link-http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/watch_list/videos/se ason_1/index.jhtml
Do you Swear: yes, I frequently tell people to ......"buzz off...You ungodly cad." and ......"go jump in a lake...you Misinthrope..."
Do you Sing:
Do you Shower Daily: Yes sometimes I take a European shower which is just the pits
Have you Been in Love: Sure.
Do you want to go to College: yeah I want to be a 95 year old freshmen at frat party. This way people can steal my dentures when I'm passed out.
Do you want to get Married: I Already am getting tied.
Do you belive in yourself: Oh yeah, too bad no one else does.
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Do you think you are Attractive: My third grade gym teacher thinks so.
Are you a Health Freak: I live in NYC, is there anything healthy about this town at all? The rats in this town carry an inhaler
Do you get along with your Parents: Thank God for long distant relationships and few hollidays
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes especially when I'm working on a humanoid in the lab
Do you play an Instrument: by instrument you mean people? Yes.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: it's against my religion, my religion being broke. who can afford to go out in ny
In the past month have you Smoked: Only the cool kids in school smoke, it also looks really cool when your 42 to smoke out of that hole in your larynx. Those people are so cool.
In the past month have you been on : a respirator machine?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes me and the old lady went drinking in the park, brown paper bag style.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes, Don't tell the guy who's wallet I took.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No but I did make fun of someone who did.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes I eat sushi, I alway giggle when I say that.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes but it was to pick up the fruit that was thrown at me.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Who would dump me, I make well over fourteen thousand a year.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Is that Gay code for anal sex?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Is this the questionaire they give you when at Rikers Island.
Ever been Drunk: I pass out before I get drunk. I think the question here is, ever have someone shave your ass while you were sleeping
Ever been called a Tease: Never a tease only a two bit whore.
Ever been Beaten up: twice today. I've been beaten up more times then i've bombed and that's a lot
Ever Shoplifted: why shoplift when i have everything. Except toilet paper cuz that shit is expensive.
How do you want to Die: Lying Face down In William Shatner's pool
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A Responsible adult
What country would you most like to Visit: It used to be Lebonon and before that Iraq, before that Afghanastan. Soon there won't be anywhere.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blood shot red.
Favourite Hair Color:
Short or Long Hair: It all ends up on the pillow and shower drain anyway
Height: something over three feet
Weight: something under 300
Best Clothing Style:&..39;
Number of I have taken: huh?
Number of CDs I own: Just one Rick Astley. White soul. So hot.
Number of Piercings: they've all closed like my heart.
Number of Tattoos: one giant tat that runs from head to my toes, it's a tattoo of Nasry Malak. It looks just like him.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Let's start with this survey. Then.At two years old i spilled hot milk on my chest then at two and half, oh who has time....
What are your goals for next year? To pass the Comic Strip audition for Lucien...Oops!
Are you righty or lefty? Bat righty, slap lefty
Favorite postion? Bat righty, slap lefty
What do you think of comedy today? In a perfect world, one of Carrot Top's props should forever mame Dane Cook.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Real people, Elves, team mascots, Tony Danza, people named Cherry, and the Dhali Lama. In that order.

My Blog

Tonight I took a few punches for comedy.

Wow what can I say about tonight except it was really wild. I did a private show for a Church in Paramus and started a riot. At a church!!! Did they not get the brochure about loving ones neighbors...
Posted by on Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:47:00 GMT

Shoe Madness

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Posted by on Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Mets Suck!

Mets just fired Willie Randolph. Let me just start by saying I am not a Mets fan, never have been, never will be. I am a Willie Randolph fan. Whe...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Jun 2008 08:52:00 GMT

Last Comic Standing audition.

I audtioned for Last comic Standing about 11 days ago and I promised myself i wouldn't write about it immediately after. I had to see it from a fresh perspective before I can make an hones...
Posted by on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:26:00 GMT

Mike Huckabee should shut his trap.

Mike Huckabee has a recomendation to "amend the constitution so it's in God's standards", so as to bolster his standing with Republican voters. I liked...
Posted by on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 07:28:00 GMT

My trip to see the In-Laws.

I traveled 4,000 miles to spend X-mas with people I barely know. My In-laws. Where do I start? I love my in-laws, sweeter people you will not find , which is why I married my old lad...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:20:00 GMT

Post Wedding Report.

Well I finally got married. It only took a lifetime. The ceremony was amazing and I found a great girl who I really admire and really adore. Sounds weird for a comedian to say that. They're usually ha...
Posted by on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 08:04:00 GMT

the Value of the Euro.

Well It's the eve of my wedding. To say I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I'm marrying the greatest girl in the world, believe me when I say that. I dated half of NY s...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 08:54:00 GMT

Heroes

I recently met one of my boyhood heroes. I was on the set of "Starship Dave" (because apparently security is very lax) and I met Eddie Murphy. Now here's a guy who has been in more blockbu...
Posted by on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 08:57:00 GMT

what?

I dont' get it my blog dissappeared. WTF,
Posted by on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 17:15:00 GMT