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Often I sit and dwell on the things that I did not accomplish and forget about all that I did. I never realize how good my life is until I see someone who has less than me, then I feel really shitty for taking what I have for granted. I always say that I want more, but really, I have all that I need. I don’t know how to say thank you when someone pays me a compliment because I don’t see what others see in me. I am my biggest critic. I am my own best friend. I am a procrastinator. If I have a month to complete an assignment, I will wait until 2 days before it is due. Sometimes I will wait until that day if it is a short one. I am 1 course away from a Master’s degree that I am not passionate about. I have been in this class since January 2006 and haven’t completed one assignment. Everyday I sit down to start my first paper and find something else of more importance. When I truly love someone, I love them very deeply and at times this can be to a fault because I will allow that person to walk all over me and I will tolerate behaviors that I would not in others. I have been told that I am difficult to figure out, but those are just the folks who didn’t pay attention. I read like a murder mystery book. The clues are all there, you just have to piece them together. I want to: go skydiving, get a tattoo, write a book, learn to drive a stick-shift, learn sign language, learn Spanish, learn Japanese, stay at a Bed-and-Breakfast, take a real vacation to somewhere other than to see family or sit at home, work in a bookstore, run a 5K, learn to swim (yeah, I passed swim class at Berea, but still can’t swim), go skinny dipping, learn to box, stop shopping to fill an emotional void, go hiking, go camping, go white water rafting, visit another country, , go to Disney Land, read 50 books or more in a year, live more frugally, lower my body fat, and become a vegetarian. I have managed to cut out fast food, have gotten a colonic, and am on a health kick. I miss the person that I was in college and the things I was into then. I miss all the cool people I met along the way and have lost touch with most of them. This year, I won’t celebrate any holidays as I just wasted my money last year. I want to save my money and go on vacation by myself. I am going to clean out the clutter in my life, my finances and anything else I see that needs a good cleaning out. Given the folks that I have been attracting, I realize that I have a lot of work yet to do on me! With that said, I am not looking for a companion because my life is complicated and full. Most men that are attracted to me are unavailable in some form and I don’t have the energy any more that it takes to maintain and upkeep a relationship. Yeah, having relations is nice, but anything you can do, I can do better, quicker and I don’t have to find an excuse to make you leave.This year, I plan to “live like no one else, so that I can live like no one else.†–Dave Ramsey
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