Crackerjack profile picture

Crackerjack

Monkey try to steal my sexy

About Me

On the days when I'm not pursuing a career as a supervillain I am known as white lotus: kung fu master of the super karate death monkey style... I am currently preparing a bill to put before Congress for a nationally recognized nap time, though having some difficulties with the cookies and juice distribution subclauses. i really NEED a bigwheel. I believe in just about everything if there's a good story attached: UFOs, the end of the world, flat earth society, spelling bees, Elvis and Miss America. Life's too short not to laugh at me, (everybody should own a boa).... A really good practical joke is better than a christmas present.... and if you wear the right perfume, I'll follow you anywhere 

My Interests

WINE, doodling pointless cartoons, Tennis, Driving Really Fast, Hot Tea, Pajamas, Photography, Filmmaking (what? in LA? Surely you jest...), Filling out questionaires, Schrodinger's pets, Getting my IQ tested by the church of scientology

I'd like to meet:

Shallow trendy people who can take me under their wing, and make me feel better about myself for a short time before I go out of fashion. I'm really into playing headgames. Please lie to me.

Music:

PJ Harvey, Tool, Cranes, Tom Waits, A Perfect Circle, Tchaikovsky, Pixies, Yma Sumac, Mindless Self Indulgence, John Lee Hooker, Maggie Estep, Leonard Cohen, My Life with the Thrill kill Kult, Elliot Smith, Fugazi

Movies:

Apocalypse Now, Three Colors: Blue, Badlands, Brazil, Royal Tenenbaums, Takashi Miike, Once Upon a time in the West, Dead Man, Widow of St. Pierre, The Mexican, the Shining, Akira Kurasawa, Robert Altman, Sergio Leone, Big Bad Love, Lost in Translation, Sweet Hereafter, Anything with 'Shaolin' in the title

Books:

Martian Chronicles, Mother Night, Mark Twain, Small Gods, Haruki Murakami, ee cummings, Peter Pan, Until We Have Faces, Terry Pratchett, Shel Silverstein, Cerebus, Pessimist's Guide to History, Italo Calvino, Breakfast of Champions

Heroes:

Anyone who can do at least 4 impossible things...(card tricks don't count)

My Blog

Clash of the Titans fucking rocks!!!!

I just had a Ray Harryhausen Marathon with "Clash of the Titans" and "Jason and the Argonauts"... I wanna make a movie with cheesy stop motion monsters so bad right now...
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

pander

*work in progress she cocks her head and arches her brow while tugging the clasp of her bra "you don't have time for love, doll," she smiles and kisses my chest I wake to find she ...
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

fireflies

those clever little girls& with hot breaths and gasps they stole all the fireflies i used to chase and all the twanging springs in the world wont bring them back
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

another her

I saw a picture of her the other day (The one with the soft lips) On a whim I typed in her name, and there she was Ten years now out of bloom I wonder if her lips are still so soft
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Lost Aesop Classic

The troll under the bridge said "you may pass"... My friend was the bravest, he went first. The troll pounced... The rest of us ran across while the troll was picking his teeth with the ...
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Legend of the Half Black Jet Pack

*just a bit of fun from a couple of years ago Born Jethro Packer back in '39, just another plantation crop To a dear sweet lovin' mama, and an honest hard workin' pop Named for a granpa he neve...
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Noir Morning

*Work in progress Another over exposed morning through last nights hangover The buildings touched with blue And the skys washed away The palm trees, pale to your face, but so dark in the re...
Posted by Crackerjack on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST