My name is Ben. i spent 2 years at the U of M studying psychology, and I'm planning to go back soon. Right now I'm working as the vault teller at U.S. Bank, and I'm loving it.I used to be a chritian, but I realized 2 things: 1. Jesus doesn't love me the way he loves my family and some of my friends. and 2. I don't love Jesus the way they do. I love ben warnock, and until something drastic happens, it's going to be this way. I can't pretend to love Jesus if I don't, and i cant pretend to be free if I'm not.But for now I'm free. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a christian, butI feel rejected, so what choice do i have? I don't love Jesus, and he doesn't love me, and i refuse to pretend otherwise. I grew up as a missionary kid in kenya, and even inot college i gave my life to christ....but now i have no choice but to be free. i refuse to be a pharisee, and i refuse to be a fake christian. If i don't love jesus, im not going to pretend like my living A good life will earn his life.So basically where I'm at is...I don't love Jesus, but I want to be free. chrisitianity is not about doing the right thing or making kessu love you.Christianity is one thing...it's realizing that we're helpless without jesus. he died on the cross so that we might be free. so that we could spend eternity with him. we dont get there by loving him lots or living a great life. we get there by HIS GRACE ALONE.and personally, I have to be honest. I'm too selfish and self-obsorbed to love jesus. i love ben warnock. if i died today i'd go to hell. and i fucking deserve it. but i hate god. i tried to live for him and he rejected me. so what else do i have but to live for at least some temporary joy?so you might be asking...what the hell does this kid live for?well. i love music and i love musicals. i've made several lists of bands/musicals/songs. they're all on faceboook.....www.facebook.com/benwarnock....i also watch tv shows (24, alias, lost, the shield), play poker and ultimate frisbee and hang with friends and drink. i fucking love drinking.....anyway, my aim is jackbauerdude, so y'all should hit me up sometime.I also love comedy!!!.....mitch hedberg is my fave, RIP, but i also love brian reagan and frank caliendo.....please listen to that shit...dane cook is great too. anyway hit me up....peace!!!
