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About Me


The name is Roxanne, but my friends call me Roxanne for short. I'm mexican. I love beer. I'm an operator, and after a day of all the love and joy I receive from customers I like to relax at home with a bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of whiskey to wash them down with (super duper). I'm also a massage therapist and I do not offer happy endings...ok, well maybe if the price is right, not really though, I can get in a lot of trouble for admitting that. I'm also a certified make-up artist but never did anything with my certification besides dolly up the drunk and passed out. I'm known for crashing cars in the month of September. I have an obsession with street fighter (I learned all my fighting moves from Blanka). When a baby sneezes, I get excited. I automatically hate sluts (except for Courtney),and attention whores. I wanna go down on Chino Moreno's "Richard". I have friends, but they only use me for my moms salsa. I have a crush on Conan O'brien. My ear is stitched together, and I have a piece of carne asada on my chest. I have a man voice but disguise it with my girlish Spanish accent. My dad has a big head and passed the genes down to his kids. My friends make fun of me because I sometimes can't talk right, but I usually don't get retarded till I'm around Mallory. For some reason my friends call me a chola but I don't think they were exposed to a lot of Mexicans growing up, it might also be the fact that I have some wicked sharpie eyebrows. When I meet someone funny, my heart drops to my vagina. I cry to sad movies or not so sad, like the movie Barnyard:The original party animals. I am the self proclaimed 80's Queen. For some reason when I fight, I have to fight 2 or more girls at a time. I repeat myself a lot when I'm drunk. I repeat myself a lot when I'm drunk. I throw up to the sounds of throwing up. I can out drink Mike Delgado...a grown man, might I add. I get along better with guys then girls, but probably because I used to be a man in my past life. I snore so loud that my friends buy ear plugs if they have to share a room with me.I enjoy fine art Native American paintings. I open bottle caps with my teeth. I have bigger hands then most men. I'm a smart ass, if you can't take a joke than suck it easy. I belch not burp. I was crossed-eyed as a child. I like to kick girls in their shin while they're peeing. Love me.

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My Blog

The Ultimate Test

Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car....
Posted by on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:19:00 GMT