Black Shoe Diary: The daily musings of Shuruku Umezawa part two |
Monday, November 6
Adjusting quite nicely to new position, despite frequent urgings to engage in hand-to-hand combat with vice president of marketing. Had first formal review last week and received la...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 19:10:00 GMT |
An Ode to Collegiate Alcoholism |
College students are truly a rare breed. Week after week we put ourselves through the gauntlet of flip-cup tournaments, keg stands, ice luges, and power hours only to pass out briefly and wake up at o...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:43:00 GMT |
I didn't cry at the end of the notebook damnit! |
Here's the thing, guys. I didn't cry when I watched The Notebook. I can understand how people might have misconstrued things, but you guys honestly need to hear me out about this. So listen, I watched...
Posted by on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:38:00 GMT |
BadAss Co Invades the emus |
Australia Tour: Leg One
"An unbeliever...might exclaim 'Surely two distinct Creators must have been at work.'"
; ...
Posted by on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 08:06:00 GMT |
Black Shoe Diary: The Diary of Shuruku Umezawa: Junior Salesman, Ninja. |
Monday, March 6
Began new job today as junior salesman at commodity brokerage firm. Took two hours for anyone to notice I had arrived at work. Receptionist lady, Fran, made facetious comment as I went...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:20:00 GMT |
Some unaired burger king ads with "the king" |
An attractive woman is soaking in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Scented candles burn around the tub as she listens to relaxing music. (Carl, see if we can get the rights to an Enya song.) The wo...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:14:00 GMT |
The real origins of the favorite childrens book, The Berenstein Bears |
In Yellowstone Park in 1962, a young child left unattended and smothered in honey was eaten by a grizzly bear.
This child was Bobby Berenstain, 3-year-old son of Stan and Jan Berenstain. The tragedy ...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:12:00 GMT |
Betting lines - Bigfoot v Aliens |
After seeing an article in the Weekly World News entitled "Bigfoot to Fight Aliens," you asked me to assess the probable outcome of the fight and prepare a preliminary betting line. Unfortunately, the...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:08:00 GMT |
3 new mac ad ideas |
1.
The effortlessly hip but still harmlessly nerdy Mac Guy stands next to the antiquated but sweet PC Guy in their standard pose. The Mac Guy pulls a pair of binoculars from behind his back and begins...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:55:00 GMT |
How to trip the president |
Foot Sweep
Enter from rear during a state dinner. Race through the large hall, overturning all plates that come within easy swatting distance. Barrel toward the podium, bleating like a dying goat, as ...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:53:00 GMT |
