J.E.S. ♀♀ The LESBIAN Wonder [♫ is my ♥] profile picture

J.E.S. ♀♀ The LESBIAN Wonder [♫ is my ♥]

jesliveslifeinthefastlane

About Me

I'M A MAGNIFICENT MONEY MAGNET!!!


I am an ASSHOLE.
I gave you fair warning =]


READ THIS SHIT IN A BOX BEFORE ADDING ME!


I get a SHIT load of adds everyday.
So, here's the fuckin deal.
If you're a woman:
Be attractive, intelligent, funny, have a personality, type using CORRECT GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, AND SPELLING!
And I LOVE to talk. So, hit a dyke up! =]
Dudes:
I WANT NOTHING PAST FRIENDS WITH YOU!
I AM FULL-BLOWN, ALL THE WAY, GAY!
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND
YOU HAVE TO SEND ME A MESSAGE EXPLAINING WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ADDED ME OR I WILL NOT ACCEPT!
I DO NOT HAVE NUDE PICS, SO DON'T ASK FOR THEM!
BE RESPECTFUL WITH YOUR WORDS OR I WILL DELETE AND BLOCK YOU!
To everyone:
I WILL NOT ADD YOU IF:
You don't have a picture
You're ugly and or old as hell.
You have a minimal amount of friends.
If you're boring as FUCK.
You're racist, homophobic, sexist, judgmental, depressed, emo, stupid, etc...
Your whole profile is about dragons, fairies, cartoons, video games, etc...
If you have any violent or offensive subject matter towards women.
If you have a low opinion of women, and you think that they are just pieces of meat.
AND!
I FUCKING HATE THOSE PET AND HOW MUCH I'M WORTH COMMENTS!!!
DO NOT SEND THEM TO ME!!!
SEND ME A REAL MESSAGE OR COMMENT!!!
AND COMMENT ANYTHING YOU LIKE OR DISLIKE.
I LOVE HEARING PEOPLE'S OPINIONS.
Thanks,
[JES]
free enneagram test
[I fucking hate feet, cops, when dudes hit on me, clingy people, annoying & obnoxious bitches, fighting in text messages, vagina drama, drunks and major drug addicts, construction, body hair, the smell of beef jerky, blackmail, red tape, clowns, Mormonism, people who cheat on their significant other and have no conscience about it, people who only talk to me when they need something, homophobic, sexist, racist, and judgmental people, shitty drivers, creepy ass people, war, rapists (deserve to be castrated and raped everyday in prison), religion, and George Bush Jr. and Sr.]
And I prefer comments over messages, unless they are of a private matter.]
Single, hott, triple threat, females. HOLLA at ME! =]
[The Lesbian Wonder ♀♥♀]

Vegas Made


NO BitchAssNess!
Trust NO man
Fear NO bitch

Sorry...I'm allergic to BULLSHIT!


BAMF


If I had balls
They'd be bigger THAN YOURS!


JES, Jessica, The Lesbian Wonder, The Incredible Edible Lez, Asshole with a Heart, SLICK Skillz, Scandalous Bitch
Sun Sign: Aries
Sun 7° Aries 03' Aries Horoscope
for today »
Moon Sign: Sagittarius
Moon 5° Sagittarius 42' Sagittarius Horoscope
for today »
Rising Sign: Gemini
Ascendant 29° Gemini 46' Gemini Horoscope
for today »
Get your own astro stats
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Ethnicity: Western European, Russian, Canadian, Argentian, and part black. I swear. My ancestors had their game tight as my jeans ;)
What it do pimpin? Me llamo JES. Soy de Las Vegas. I am a sophomore, and full-time student at UNLV. And I'll be a junior by the end of spring. Go Rebels! I love to help people and volunteer. I am going to start modeling soon. So, if you have any advice or would like to help me...that would be greatly appreciated =] I always have money, even when I'm broke. I get everything either discounted, cheap or FREE! And my girls take care of me ♥ I am a proud member of the Ally LGBTQ. So, if you have any questions about the community, feel free to ask. You're safe here ♥ I believe that when we help other people, we help ourselves as well =]
Making people smile and laugh is my specialty. A.D.D. Randomness. Opinionated. Outspoken. IDGAF and I'm PROUD of it!!! Courageous. Outbursts. Witty. Smart ass. CREATIVE. Shit talker. Dyslexic. Organizational OCD. Shootin the shit with down ass people. I have turrets, and no one believes me. hahaha. Trusting, non-judgmental, empathetic. Spontaneous. Optimist. Anti-religion. Transcendentalist. Activist. Humanitarian. I have extensive nerve damage from all my injuries, accidents, and near-death experiences. They call me Wolverine =] New-age hippie. Athletic heffer =] Down for whatever.
Music is my heart and soul. Gifted and talented singer, club dancer, musician, poet, artist. I LOVE to eat. Homecooked, healthy, organic, ethnic food is my favorite. Sports fanatic. Athletic. The arts will always have my heart. I can understand and speak a little bit of romance languages, German, and Arabic. I have a Black Belt and special forces training. I can knock bitches and dudes the fuck out. I can get lost in a good book, and I LOVE to learn! Obsessed with tattoos and piercings. I love to get trashed and dance and make an ass out of myself. Hey, you only live once. Don't get me wrong, I love to stay at home, eat, and chill, too.
Busy BUMble bee =] I love my life and the people in it. I love meeting new people and traveling. I will be a millionaire by the time I am 25, and I will live in London in the next 10 years. I am a big girl and I do big things. I follow my heart and my dreams, and no one, not one damn thing can stop me. "Can't nobody take my pride, Can't nobody hold me down, ohh no, I got to keep on movin'." I've been through a living fucking hell in my life, but it has made me the strong, independent female that I am today. I cannot thank the people in my life enough. They have done more for me than they will ever know.
[JES]♥
I'm worth getting to know.
I'll rock your socks and your fucking world =]

My Interests


INFO:
age: 19
location: The City of Lost Souls
education: UNLV Rebels!
study:Major: Hospitality. Minor: Spanish and Meetings and Events Planning Management. Goal=Make $$$$$$$ and travel the world.
org: Ally LGBTQ. Female Body Inspector.
status: single, but my heart is open and waiting...
currently:FUCKING exhausted. Chill and pass out =]

dancing, partying, get trashed.

laughing, being stupid, YEE!!!

Getting under people's skin =]

IDGAF! I do what I want!

Respect has to be earned in order to be given.

Rules were made to be broken.

I'm a true to the heart, punk rocker, in the soul!

Comedy: Dane Cook, Katt Williams, Monique, Lisa Lampanelli, Ron White, George Carlin, Lewis Black.

Bikram Hatha Yoga, long boarding!, indoor rock climbing, swimming, volleyball, boogie boarding, basketball, softball, fighting, arm-wrestling, dancing.

Sports to watch: NCAA women’s sports, SOFTBALL ?, College football, UFC, boxing, Formula 1, drag racing, volleyball, eXtreme sports.

HRC, Gay Pride, Anti-War, Pro-Choice, Democrat, Communist, Against the War on Drugs, Activist.

GET EDUCATED!!!

I read the paper whenever I can.
I NEVER watch TV, unless it's sports or hott women =]

Music will always be number one ?
I LOVE TO DRIVE my Mustang GT!!!

I’m hella picky with cars, music, clothes, shoes, and girls.

Strong believer in The Secret!
Love natural beauty: beach, sunrise & sunset, clouds, rain, trees, snow, mountains, flowers.

Favorite smells: gasoline, fire, good cooking, fresh out of the shower, car air fresheners, pine trees, the ocean, Valentino, men’s deodorant, hemp lotion, fabric softener, laundry detergent, red roses, strippers, WOMEN?.

Expensive perfume, designer shades, True Religion, Se7en jeans, MetroPark, Acrylic, Sinful Clothing, Nikes, white Ts and muscle shirts, boxers, Ed Hardy, slip on Vans, belts and buckles, rainbow pride, band shirts.

I'd like to meet:



Just remember: I ALWAYS GET THE LAST LAUGH!

SUCK it DRY, BITCH!



I do all types of retarded shit.
I can't change the way I think,
And I can't change the way I am.
But if I offended you...
GOOD
'Cause I STILL
DGAF!
-Eminem

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” - A Wild Heart Kept in Cages

Alaina aka my number one and Lana Bobanna

The ones who turned Jessica into JES. ♥ forever.

I owe you my life ♥♥♥

Beavis and Butthead. Besties. Virgo and Aries.
My right hand woman. My ride or die, BIETCH.
You don't even know the half...♥

SJDJ7, Baller, pimp, DJ, blood, dogg, my NINJA!!!

You know it!

Ivana, Tiffany, Cortney

My crazy cousins
This bitch makes me die laughing
My Mexican Rainbow Hussie
Batman. I'm havin his babies when I get older.

I want to:
Learn how to breakdance, beatbox, model, work a professional camera, successfully fly an airplane, drive stick without stalling, go sky-diving and base jumping, play lacrosse, play rugby, learn to play the drums, shoot a machine gun, learn how to pole dance, be able to do 10 vertical push-ups in a row, do a back-hand spring, do a back-flip on the trampoline, tie a cherry stem with my tongue, how to do the sleeper hold...

I got you FEENIN ;)~

Oh, I think they like me.
Haters wanna fight me.

F.T.B.S.



I'm saving it for someone special
"If only you could see,
the beau-ty,
in what you and me,
could be,
would be,
should be..."

"If [she] ain't gon' treat you right,
then I ain't gon' treat you wrong.

Let me show you the finer things...
I write you poetry
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals or,
Have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine, or your own,
If you can dance with wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you
To the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful, realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling is true
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
And not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful, and therefore trustworthy

I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it’s not pretty everyday,
And if you can source your life from [your creator’s] presence

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine
And still stand on the edge of a lake
And shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live,
Or how much money you have
I want to know if you can get up
After the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone,
And do what needs to be done for everyone

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here,
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
And not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have
Studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside
When all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-Poem by Native American Healer

------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------- I LOVE WOMEN!!!
I TREAT THEM LIKE THEY'RE ON PEDESTALS ♥
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM:
THEY WAY THEY LOOK, TALK, ACT, AND DRESS.
THEIR ATTENTION TO DETAIL.
THEIR CARING, NURTURING, AND EMPATHETIC NATURE.
THE WAY THEY SMELL, LOOK, FEEL, SOUND, AND TASTE =]
I'M A SUCKER FOR A WOMAN'S EYES, LAUGH, AND SMILE :D

MY TYPE:

ATHLETIC, INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS, CARING, PATIENT, UNDERSTANDING,
DOESN'T TAKE SHIT, A FIGHTER, REFUSES TO LOSE,
FEMININE, YET A TOMBOY.
I LOVE A WOMAN WHO CAN GET DIRTY AND GET FRESH ;)
AND YOU HAVE TO DANCE TO GET IN MY PANTS!
I KNOW IT SOUNDS SLEAZY, BUT BABY,
YOU. HAVE. TO. TEASE. ME! =] Hehehe

ANGELINA JOLIE ♥, Jenna Jameson, The cast of The L Word, Natasha Kai, WEEZY F BABY ♥, Jenn from The Real World Denver, Brandi from A Shot at Love, Too $hort, Kiera Knightley, ALICIA KEYS ♥, Mariah Carey, E-40, Charlie Baltimore, Lil Kim, Mary J Blige, Mila Jovovich, Kim Kardashian, TILA TEQUILA ♥, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Oprah...

Save The World - One Click At A Time!

On each of these websites, you can click a button to support the cause -- each click creates funding, and costs you nothing! Bookmark these sites, and click once a day!

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Music:



Create a playlist with this song on imeem
"Music is the real place where democracy lives; every note is equal" - Vince Gill

90's R&B, JAMES BROWN always gets me in a good mood, Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Bone Thugz n Harmony, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Aesop Rock, Wax Tailor, Atmosphere, Eminem, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Bone Thugz n Harmony, Wu-Tang Clan, Twista, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Bob Marley, Sublime, Common, Nas, E-40, Keak da Sneak, Ludacris, Tech N9ne, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Busta Rhymes, Richie Rich, Too Short, Turftalk, Mac Dre, Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, Erykah Badu, Corinne Bailey Rae, India Arie, Floetry, Jill Scott, Old Michael Jackson, John Mayer, Benny Benassi, Sublime, Aaliyah, SWV, 311, Alicia Keys, Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, System of a Down, Brand New, Silverstein, Hollywood Undead, Imogen Heap...

The Kings of Rock: Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, Metallica, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, Nirvana, Elvis

Movies:


Sicko, Fastfood Nation, Farenheit 9/11, Zeitgeist the Movie, V for Vendetta, Girl Interrupted, Pulp Fiction, Thirteen, Resident Evil 1, 2 & 3, Mommie Dearest, Mean Girls, Catwoman, Borat, Harry Potter Series, But I'm a Cheerleader, Quinceñera, Thank you for Smoking, Anchorman, Scarface, Home Alone, The Terminator, Batman Begins, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Napolean Dynamite, White Chicks, Blades of Glory

Television:



Books:

"The 48 Laws of Power" is my Bible!

Heroes:


Their strength to forgive no matter what is undeniably reassuring.
Alaina aka my number one.
If you hurt her, I'll make you disappear. Not David Copperfield sytle, Tony Soprano style.
We're more than best friends.
We're SISTERS!!!
I have the most phenomenal people in my life ♥
Alaina Schofield, Madre, Nicole Alioto, Ashley Sunstrum, Mark Fernandez, Chris Hackleman, Christine Tawa, Ahmed Hassan, Briana Courts, Jill Gentile, Aaron Turner, Ivana Khoury, Tiffany Radillion, Lana Chance, Nick Vaughn, Chris Kilkenny, My cousin Alexa, Bradley Blankenship, Reason, Stephanie DeJesus, Ashlee Wellman, Libby Brooks, Allie Voge, Badass Mare, Whitney Miller, Rachel Johnson...
And anyone who stands or stood up for their rights and the rights of others. And those who weren't afraid to be bold and different.
Gandhi, Chavez, the hippies, MLK Jr., JFK, Angelina Jolie, Danika Patrick, Bobby Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Pat Benetar, Joan Jett, Jimi Hendrix, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Bono, Alicia Keys, Hilary Clinton, John Lennin, James Dean, Johnie Cash, Madonna, Michael Moore, Malcom X, Nelson Mandela...

My Blog

use this affirmation for money

Say "I'm a magnificant money magnet." picture yourself already havin the money and the FEELING of having it. Bills paid, nice things, spendin sprees, takin care of the homies...   Picture it rai...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:09:00 PST

A WOMAN should have...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...One friend who always makes her laugh...And one who lets her cry...A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A g...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:22:00 PST

PLEASE sign the Million for Marriage petition for LGBTQ to have the right to marry =]

Hi, I just joined over 900,000 people in showing my support for marriage equality.  I'm hoping you'll join me by signing the Million For Marriage petition and get us one name closer to one millio...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:48:00 PST

If you smoke bud or know someone who does...

No More Marijuana ArrestsTuesday, April 22, 2008 The first federal marijuana decriminalization bill in 25 years was just introduced in Congress. Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) and Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) intro...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:41:00 PST

Lesbians/bi girls...A game shit right huuurrr

How to let her know you're interested How does a woman flirt with another woman? That can be tricky, especially if you do not know the sexual orientation of the object of your flirt. There's nothing l...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:06:00 PST

Obama...the next anti-christ?

Subject: What a Black Columnist has to Say about ObamaHoly shit! I'm all for Hilary Rodam Clinton.What a Black Columnist Has to Say About Obama.Ken Blackwell - Columnist for the New York Sun It's an a...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:03:00 PST

My thoughts on "Thats so fucking GAY."

First off, that shit is offensive to the core. Do you say, "That's so black?"  No. People say "fagget", like it's nothing.  Would you go up to someone who's black and say you're such a "nigg...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 10:21:00 PST

Help Protect Human Rights in Tibet.

Hi, I just signed an urgent petition calling on the Chinese government to respect human rights in Tibet and  dialogue with the Dalai Lama. This is really important, and I thought you might w...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:34:00 PST

Iraq death count continues. PETITION here.

Dear Friends, As of July 2006, a scientific study led by researchers at Johns Hopkins found that 650,000 Iraqis had died as a result of the U.S.-led invasion. Unfortunately, the death toll has continu...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:33:00 PST

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Don’t Forget MeI’m an ocean in your bedroom Make you feel warm Make you want to re-assume Now we know it all for sure I’m a dance hall dirty breakbeat Make the snow fall Up fr...
Posted by J.E.S. @@ The LESBIAN Wonder [k is my e] on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:11:00 PST