This is the part where I am supposed to tell you who I am. That seems easy enough I guess. Trouble is I am only just discovering the answer myself.
I have spent much of my adult life in a kind of fog that obscured my deepest hopes; the ones hidden in the secret places in my heart. Reckless Worship is only one of many steps on my journey out of that fog. Maybe instead of trying to explain who I am I should just tell you where I have been
The first part of the story is pretty common; traditional religious home, divorce, loss of faith, college-age rebellion and experimentation, love, and marriage. Then came crisis. My wife, unchurched and unexposed to the gospel, met Jesus in a profound and miraculous way. The faith I had discarded was now hot on my trail and I began to feel pursued. In a moment of desperation I cried to a God I was not sure of and said if you dont help me; if you arent real; then I am finished. In that moment I felt arms wrap around me that, try as I might, I have not been able to pry loose since.
I have been a musician all my life. When I began to speak I began to sing. I have no memory of a time before music in my life. In my mid-twenties I was captured by this God who, it turned out, had loved me all along. My wife and I found a church and I tried to plug in. I began to sing with a husky voiced angel named Pearl and her Guitarist/Husband Larry. We led worship every Sunday morning and Sunday night. They also became my closest friends. From the first moment I opened my mouth to worship with Larry and Pearl Brick; something in my heart opened as well. I discovered a well of passion and emotion I had never experienced in 20 years of singing. I discovered the unbelievable joy of singing for my creator. A few months later Pearl prayed for me and said that God was going to teach me to sing not only from my heart but from His. That night, in the middle of a worship service, I stepped to the microphone and sang a song I had never heard before; not a song to God but a song from Him to me. It was an unforgettable moment.
Since that night I have learned what it is to love God and what it is to be loved by Him. I have become a father and, I hope, a better husband. The songs that came in those spontaneous moments of worship became songs I continue to sing to this day. I began to write about the scandalous love of the God who saved me in the midst of my anger and doubt. And I began to learn to love the other lost souls and broken hearts who cried out in desperation to a God whose love is wild and beyond comprehension.
The fog still hangs in the air. I am not sure what lies ahead. I am only sure that I must spend the rest of my days singing, writing, and talking about my foolish faith in a dangerous God. I want to be reckless and unafraid. I want to pursue this adventure with the one who captured my heart. I want to dance and shout and tear down the prisons of religion and earned grace. And Id love for you to come with me. Do you feel reckless?
Pax,
currey
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