I started off a small child, a toddler some may say, doing the usual childish things, you know pissing on someone because they wouldn't let you use the go-kart, slamming friends fingers in locker doors, making those weird coloured sand in a bottle things with a face on and indeed the rest.
I then met a travelling bunch of Nuns/Elvis impersonators, who of which had such a massive influence on me I just had to start listening to heavy metal and worshiping the almighty Beelzebub. My life then contorted into a slew of debauchery, mingled with bursts of humour and an interest in science, as I strived to discover the secrets behind the humongous evil robots I had met earlier in life, shrank down to the size of an Earth-childs toy. To this day, my mission is to locate these secrets, surely being covered up by the U.S. army and who's activities are profoundly blamed on people who are Muslims or who have a lot of oil that a certain someone wants because somewhere's running out of theirs.
After this I have progressed through my rough teens with my love of loud shouty music and my balls intact, somehow miraculously due to the times my 'friend' Luke has kicked me in them, thrown lemons at them, slammed them between bricks and indeed incinerated my flappy man sacks. My balls that is, not my love of metal. Anyway, I feel I'm getting away from the point (and more towards what's below my point). My talent for dropping conversations below any reasonable level of political correctness and my taste for poorly timed jokes is still running strong, my ability to double-entendre [dou·ble-en·ten·dre (dub'?l-än-tän'dr?, du-bläN-täN'dr?) pronunciation
n.
1. A word or phrase having a double meaning, especially when the second meaning is risqué.
2. The use of such a word or phrase; ambiguity.
3. Something Mitch says.]
...means that I'm a hit with gophers and sometimes even misguided rabbits. At the moment I enjoy posting jam to leading conservative politicians and writing 'Ben Affleck Loves Cock O.K.' on bus shelters. Thank you for your time, now you may go back to being bored, I know I am.
