A.P. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a genuinely nice guy, friendly, loyal, honest, trustworthy, all that stuff. But I'm also intelligent, funny, and absolutely adorable. When it comes to women, I can be very shy and quiet at first, mainly because I don't want to say something stupid right off the bat. But after that, I'm respectful and very loving.
I like to write a bunch of jokes, stand up on a stage, and tell them to a drunk audience. My aspirations have always been driven by envy and since just about everyone I know is doing better than I am, the need to become rich and successful doing what some have said I was born to do is that much stronger. I do jokes about fat people, racism, sex with midgets, and girls gone wild. You know, the classics.
In the meantime, I will finally be continuing my education at ECPI College of Technology in September where I'll be attaining my Bachelor's in Simulation & Game Programming. Hey, I've wasted most of my 20's playing video games, so I might as well learn how to make them and get paid for it.
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Someone who will be mine.... And someone who will grant me a freebie. You know, just to get my form back.

"I am seeking a woman, age 18 to 80, for fun and relationship. Must look like Serena Altschul." -Olly

Music:

Black Eyed Peas, Linkin Park, 311, New Found Glory, Dave Matthews Band, No Doubt, Weezer, The Spinners, Garbage, Jay-Z, Madonna, The Gorillaz, GnR, Offspring, Cranberries, Kool & the Gang, Counting Crows, Fall Out Boy, Missy, all kinds of stuff, especially old stuff that was before my time.

Movies:

Back to the Future, Anchorman, X-Men, Wedding Crashers, My Blue Heaven, Police Academy, Terminator, Rocky, Our Gang Comedies (Little Rascals), Labyrinth, Raising Arizona, Savannah Smiles, Harry Potter, Drop Dead Fred, Friday, Half Baked, How High, Splash, The Goonies, Grilled, Super Troopers, What Dreams May Come, and lots more.

Television:

Everybody Loves Raymond, Grounded For Life, SNL, That 70's Show, The Colbert Report, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Reno 911, The Daily Show, Conan O'Brien, The Soup, Full House, Arrested Development, Chappelle's Show, Robot Chicken, The Twilight Zone, Deal or No Deal, Family Guy, The Office, 30 Rock, Heroes, Journeyman, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and cable news.
You Are Fozzie Bear
"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming. The Muppet Personality TestSifl & Olly is the greatest show involving sock puppets in this time or any other!

Books:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy changed my life.

Heroes:

Dave Chappelle is a comic genius. He says things that people either have wanted to say for a long time or never would have thought of. Plus he's rich bitch!Another personal hero of mine is Edwin Finnerty. He's a fictional character, but I love the way he approaches life. And of course, these guys......
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A new hero of mine is anyone that has had to serve as Bill O'Reilly's producer. Take Rusty Ward....

My Blog

The World of Just One Person

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a superhero. I've always wanted people to look up at the sky and see me flying around, swooping around clouds, my flowing red cape flapping in the wind...
Posted by A.P. on Mon, 19 May 2008 11:19:00 PST

Ode to a 67 Chevelle

T'was a cold September mornWhen I found my love inside your hornI wiped the dip from oft my chinYour engine roar enticed a grinWith Skynyrd on the 8-track blarin'In my lights, a dear was starin'I swer...
Posted by A.P. on Mon, 19 May 2008 09:33:00 PST

God is not the homophobe, you might be.

I’m tired of Christians using the Bible to justify prejudice against homosexuals. Right now, you might be saying, "Aaron, what do you care? You’re not gay." I’ll tell you why. Becaus...
Posted by A.P. on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:19:00 PST

I’ve been tagged....

Here's how you play: Once you've been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself , at the end choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names and why ...
Posted by A.P. on Mon, 31 Dec 2007 01:29:00 PST

The Perfect American

The media likes to have a field day with skinny celebrities. People like Callista Flockheart, Nicole Ritchie, and Lara Flynn Bolye have been the butts of many an "eat a sandwich" joke. But while comed...
Posted by A.P. on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 11:22:00 PST

Love at first sight

Lunch had just ended and I was grateful. Not only did I survive what I thought was the most terrifying part of my first day of school in Virginia, but I had picked the misfit table and I was glad...
Posted by A.P. on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 09:29:00 PST

A slice of my childhood, Part 2

Late September, 1993. I had already done a month or so of 8th grade back home, but now I basically had to start over from scratch. I had never been without friends or, at the very least, people w...
Posted by A.P. on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 03:28:00 PST

A slice of my childhood, Part 1

When I was five years old, I met a girl on the playground. Her name was Heather. A year later, in 1st grade, I developed a little crush on her. She was in my class that year and she was the prett...
Posted by A.P. on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 10:32:00 PST

Two Dreams

In the first dream, Brandy and I found ourselves sitting in a crowded diner at a table with strangers, about 5 or 6 of them. When we both ended up getting hit on by guys....I'm gonna repeat that becau...
Posted by A.P. on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 10:31:00 PST

Big Dumb Geek

I like Star Wars. I long to wield a lightsaber and use the Jedi Mind Trick. I also like Star Trek. I would love nothing more than to disappear into holodeck fantasy for an hour or two. If I could...
Posted by A.P. on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 04:43:00 PST