About Me
I AM 4`2, 238 LBS., AND IM HUNG LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH.SO ITS NO WONDER THAT CHICKS FIND ME IRRESISTABLE.I CAN NEVER FALL DOWN BECAUSE I JUST ROLL BACK ON TO MY FEET AGAIN.I HAVENT SEEN MY PECKER IN 10 YEARS, SO IF YOU HAPPEN TO NOTICE IT STANDING NEXT TO ME AT THE URINAL, TELL ME WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE PLEASE.IVE BEEN SMOKING SINCE I WAS 3, DOCTORS SAY THAT MAY BE THE REASON I HAVENT GROWN VERY MUCH OVER THE YEARS.....I SAY, BULLSHIT, I HAVE GROWN PLENTY, CANT YOU SEE THE WRECKINGBALL SIZE ABS THAT I POSSESS ?IVE BEEN MARRIED 8 TIMES AND HAVE 32 OFFSPRING....YOU SEE WHERE I AM FROM ITS NOT ILLEGAL TO MARRY ANIMALS, SO I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE TO HOOK UP WITH THIS SEXY LITTLE FRENCH POODLE, AND WHAT A HORNY BITCH !I KNOW IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE, BUT I CANT REMEMBER ALL MY KIDS NAMES.
IT SEEMS THEY EITHER RAN OFF, WERE ADOPTED OR WERE PICKED UP BY ANIMAL CONTROL BEFORE I COULD MEMORIZE THEIR NAMES.I ALSO HAVE UNCONTROLABLE BOWEL MOVEMENTS, A RASH ON MY NAUGHTY PARTS THAT CAN BE RATHER EXCITING WHEN I HAVE A SCRATCH ATTACK, I HAVE THREE NIPPLES, 4 TESTICLES, 8 FINGERS, TWO THUMBS, REMOVABLE EYELIDS AND BREATH LIKE A RABID MONKEY IN A SHIT EATING CONTEST.
AND ALL THIS HAPPENED AFTER I TOOK A DRUG TO CURE MY HEARTBURN !FRIGGIN F.D.A.IM LOOKING FOR A TALL BRUNETTE WITH BIG JUGGS AND LOTS OF MONEY.
I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I WONT SETTLE FOR LESS.
IVE BEEN TOLD I LOOK LIKE A REALLY HOT DANNY DEVITO.....ACTUALLY THE GIRL SAID, " REMEMBER WHEN DANNY DEVITO PLAYED THE PENGUIN IN BATMAN, WELL, REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS IN A SCENE WHERE IT WAS VERY HOT AND HE WAS SWEATING, WELL, THATS YOU".SO SEND YOUR NUDE, OR AT LEAST TOPLESS PICS TO ME, ILL SORT THRU THEM AND LET YOU KNOW WHO I PICK TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH.IM NOT LOOKING FOR A COMMITMENT, I CANT SEEM TO SETTLE DOWN TO JUST ONE HOTTIE.THANKS. EUGENE
