Ragdoll7591
*Disclaimer, this profile may or may not actually classify who I am. Red or blue?
Fantastic!
The name is Lola.
You dont need to know my age.
I WANT TO BE CLOSER TO GOD.
I've been sick for a long time, not just physically sick but sick in all ways.
The world is my ashtray. i cuss. i starve i fall off walls. and i laugh about it. my life is a freak show. Im getting by though.
I play in the rain. and i write a lot. im not very special, but i'll make it worth your while.
My brain is scattered. I have a love/hate relationship with almost everything.
&&My sense of humor is dark. and kind of evil.
shoes are for conformists! I prefer to go barefoot everywhere.
I don't believe Im from this planet.
Animals are my best form of therapy.
They help me to relax and calm down better than any other anxiety relief method.
I'm happily Married to the most amazing man ever, so don't hit on me[:
I probly think your not worth my time.
prove to me you are.
I love people who talk shit and think i give a fuck, because i really dont, and if someones talking shit about me its probly true anyways so why the fuck do i care.
I take pity upon myself for having to live in shitty Indiana, But I plan to travel all over the world someday, Im gonna get out of this shit hole
Im pretty damn positive that monsters live in my closet. We get along great :]
I'm wondering why people have such an urge to prove they are better than anyone else.
I have met too many of those, and it gets tiring to turn your back on them over and over again. Maybe I am one.
I'm a stupid retarded cunt but thats just what you think of me..
I live in a world of fantasy so keep your reality away from me.
Do I have to be Perfect?
Crawling through my mind is like trying to find your way through a maze with no eyes. The darkness and fear. The screaming quiet of it all, yet the deafening noise of knowledge and age gained only by negativity envelopes you. I am not necessarily sad, not even distraught. I am just drifting through this uncertainty. Causing my own issues and pushing them aside. Making self destruction the moral of my story and not the method.
I reach for the stars constantly, but each twinkling future is slowly burning out. A future that was never alive to begin with. I remember when i was young and i used to sit up and stare at the stars. Then i was told that half of the stars do not even exist anymore as it taken so many years for the light to reach us...Now i think that was a half truth. But at the time it really shocked me, threw me from naivety and into the cold hard adult world. I was never that moldable, i worked out santa, angels and magic spoke about in lore are farce at a young age. It has always been a wish for me to slip into the pages of some novel and live forever in a dream world.
I talk to myself. I will act out scenes from the past and change them to me saying what i want. I play out walking into a room, full of people who have rejected me, lied and generally been vindictive to me. I see the scene in my mind and then speak to these people as if it was real. I even sometimes think people can see me, somewhat like Big Brother or the Truman show. Yet more matrix. I am paranoid. I don't smoke weed. I cant eat in front of people. I love reading and I carry 2 books with me everywhere i go just in case i finish one and still want to read. I love to draw and paint I love art and photography
I dream in serial dreams and love to sleep. Don't ever try to wake me up when I'm sleeping Im a bitch when i wake up from a good dream.