The Jizmuppets

Music:

Member Since: 3/26/2006
Band Members: From left to right in picture...
SMANG - trombones, air guitars, juice harps, wedding organs, washboards, maracas and occasional backing vocals
ALEK - vocals, clapping, ivory-tinkling, synthesisers, keyboards, radiator-banging
BERLINDA - vocals, falafel-rustling, dhols, bass guitars, double basses
HUGH - drums, percussion, occasional backing vocals

There are loads of other people too. Loads of behind-the-scenes people. Here are their biographies:
DARKUS - Founder of Darkus Records and manager of The Jizmuppets, he's a lovable rogue with an amazing haircut who wouldn't dream of scaring anyone - other than bootleggers and Chad
AMELIA - She's our tour manager, she's sexeh and she wants your babies. (longish blonde hair in pigtails, large knockers)
ALF - I'll write this in the first person, because that's me... I'm the publicity manager and I write everything on this page (nearly everything anyway). I'm the guy taking photos at gigs. (rosy cheeks, pink afro)
DAN and WILBURY - our genius technicians. We've got to admit, they are slightly geeky but they're brilliant at what they do. They sit and the back and press buttons most eloquently. If anything goes wrong, we like them and give them coffee - and they usually manage to sort us out. (both have longish dark hair and glasses)
FLIPPA - she's our Tour Assistant. It means she makes the tea - but I think all of us have been inside her as well. (half-cast two-legged two-breasted wonderstuff)
TERRY - Our very own Togmeister looks after the tour bus. He was the inspiration behind the Terry Wogan track (he is a bit of a TOG to be honest) even though he looks nothing like him. I think it's just his age and his name. (old spekky bloke)
CHAD DOWNHILLSKI - Legal representative for Darkus Records who specialises in libel, criminal damage, issuing supermarket theft denials and restraining orders

Who The Fuck Are The Jizmuppets?: Unfortunately for copyright reasons we're not allowed to post our tracks on this page. But you can download the full tracks from the new EP from the iTunes Music Store!
The Jizmuppets are a seminal underground band who basically make some of the more innovative music you'll ever hear. But they like to keep it real so have avoided the pleads of major labels to go mainstream. They're signed to Darkus Records and sometimes get accused of not even being real at all, just the creation of some strange imaginations.

Sounds Like: A hellish sonic wilderness crossing the acoustic boundaries between experimental bubblegum pop and gangsta hardcore bucolic melodic trance. Listen to it.
Record Label: Darkus Records
Type of Label: Indie