Absolute Wanker
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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: The Wanking Man
Birthday: 1st January
Birthplace: The Planet Erotica (the one behind Pluto)
Current Location: Chugsville Central, The Virgin Islands
Eye Color: Red, totally burnt from looking at so much online porn
Hair Color: Can't remember, it is matted to my head as I haven't left the computer for 5 weeks.
Height: A standard six inches
Right Handed or Left Handed: I have to alternate regularly. each hand has a different style.
Your Heritage: 100% wanker
The Shoes You Wore Today: stained slippers
Your Weakness: Footjob movies
Your Fears: failing internet connections, talking to real girls
Your Perfect Pizza: pineapple and pussy
Your Best Physical Feature: My exceedingly strong wrists
Your Most Missed Memory: Human contact in a physical form
Pepsi or Coke: I've seen Pepsi in a few films before but I don't know of any porn stars called coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Pornos
Chocolate or Vanilla: Preferably a chocolate girl on a vanilla one. Mixed race porn, magnificient!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Pornos
Do you Smoke: No, it lowers your sperm count
Do you Swear: Most of the language I hear involves "blue" language so it's bound to have an effect on my vocabulary
Do you Sing: I like to sing at the monitor. "c'mon baby, let's see what you got now"
Do you Shower Daily: No. I really should though.
Have you Been in Love: every day with someone different
Do you want to go to College: Porno College?
Do you want to get Married: E-marriage?
Do you get along with your Parents: They are wankers
Do you like Thunderstorms: Pornos
Do you play an Instrument: ha ha ha
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes, i like to loosen up at the weekends, I try new shit out when i've had a few
In the past month have you Smoked: wanked yes, smoked no.
Ever been Drunk:
Ever been called a Tease: a cock tease (to my own cock)
Ever been Beaten up: I beat myself up every day
Ever Shoplifted: pornos from the corner shop when I was a kid - a turning point in my life!
How do you want to Die: With a firm grip
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Ron Jeremy
&..39;In a Boy/Girl..'
Favourite Eye Color: Blue, like my language and my movies
Favourite Hair Color: Shaven
Height: midget to giant
Weight: junkie to whale
Number of CDs I own: 0
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 0
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
