Shit the bed folks.
It's your old pal Cpt. Spaulding, the owner of Captian Spauldings, so getcha ya'lls asses down here and come give me a visit, and buy some of this delicous chicken ahhhh it just gets better everytime you eat it. And if you's a pig then don't come down because I hate the pigs, they're all a bunch of fucking assholes and they come around I'll just have to stick a boot up in some asses. Other than that come down and see the Mary the Monkey girl (half monkey/half human). Or just come on down and take a spin on the infamous murder ride, it'll make you shit yo gut's right outta yo ass-hole. But don't forget to purchase yoself a captian spaulding for presedent T-shirts. and thats all folks.
