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Here is some information about me, in case you care.
I like to bite the heads off of dicks.
I love to throw babies thru windows and watch them fall to thier death.
I once punted a priest into the sun.
I dont believe in anything other than what I have seen with my own two eyes.
Smashing stuff while drunk is probably my favorite past time other than maybe eating pussy.
I have sucker punched over 250 Salvation Army volunteers.
My cock is the size of a pea but my balls are like Jupiter and Mars side by side.
I am better than you.
Im a big fan of hockey. Thats why I dont root for the Flyers, because they dont play hockey.
I have AIDS, Herpes, Syphillis and the Clap. Chances are if I have met you, Ive raped you, so you may want to get checked.
I like to prank call deaf people.
I send food stamps and Canadian currency to Africa just to know Ive broken a starving bum's heart.
I like to piss on the shoes of complete strangers.
The only bigger dump than New Jersey is the one in my pants.
My biggest pet peave is that I take pride in everything I do. Unfortunatly, no one else I know does. Yes, that is a pet peave. Hating others for thier fucking laziness and greed. All of my relationships have ended this way. Girlfriends and mutual friends. I have no time for lethargic assfucks. I lose more and more patience everyday with the few I still associate with. Im not saying all my "pals" are like this, but some are.
I love to see puppies getting walked in the park just so I can step on their heads.
I like to put safety pins thru the eyes of kittens just to hear them in pain.
I once fucked a hamster to death.
I would love to watch every Republican on Earth get burned to death.
I want to butt fuck Bella Donna, Katja Kassin and Jewel DeNyle. Jenna is so overrated.
When I get hungry for a snack, I usually eat pussy hair plucked from your mom, amputated limbs from car crash victims and wash it down with bile and cod liver oil.
I love to hit clergymen in the face with bricks and chuckle when they scream out "God Dammit."
I love to key the doors of BMW's, Hummers and any car that looks like someone 'not white' owns it and spent too much money 'making it fast.'
I once was asked what women and airplanes have in common to which I replied, "they both have cockpits."
My favorite smell in the world is vagina.
My second favorite smell is a stout.
I love to lick toilet bowls clean and then burp in unsuspecting victims faces.
I would cut off my dick for a guaranteed Stanley Cup, World Series Title or Lombardi Trophy in Philadelphia by 2010.
Theres a lot more I would cut off for a night with Meg White.
Hooters is the best place on Earth.
I love masturbating to pictures of shark attacks.
I dont believe in abortion. Why pay money when you can just push the bitch down the steps?
I love to hate people that go to private schools or colleges. They simply cannot be taken seriously.
G.G. Allin is my hero.
I have my heart on my sleeve and my cock in my ass.
I live in the future. The year 3416 to be exact. In fact, any messages you receive from me are emails that were to be sent to Pat Benetar but bounced due to faulty servers located in Prague in the year 1997.
Here is my philosophy on life:
Barry brought big bags of baloney to baghdad by borrowing balls bought from belgium from Bo who blessed Bobs beef jerky but burnt Bens belt buckle.
I've never been one to brag about a city. Quite frankly, I hate people who brag about where they live. However, I saw this and had to slap it on here.
Philadelphia is a city unlike any other. Ran by sports, completely unhealthy food, violence and beer this city is home to some of the best people you will ever find...if you are from here. You have soft pretzels for an appetizer, a Pat's Steak for the main course and some TastyKakes for dessert. Honestly, can it get any better? Outsiders are never welcome and if you are a fan of any other football team besides the Eagles, you will have a tough time simply walking down the street. The city pulls together hopes for every season and continually has their hearts shattered every year. People not from Philadelphia claim the inhabitants are the worst in the country, however if you are a local you would never want to live anywhere else. Home to friendships that you could never find in another part of the country, this city has a sense of pride to it that is unmatched anywhere. During the summer, a trip to the shore you are guaranteed to see at least 10 people from your neighborhood and there is no question you will be drunk for about 80% of the time you are there. Besides Canada, this may be the only other place that is hurting without hockey because it is often painful to watch the Sixers and Phillies play. We love our Flyers just as much as our Eagles. Finally, Philadelphia’s reputation of not being the city of brotherly love will be further reinforced after the unparalleled riots that will occur after the Eagles win the super bowl or the Flyers claim Lord Stanley's Cup...
