TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:
Danny Florio
Birthday:
June 25 1982 B.C.
Birthplace:
Jamaica Hospital
Current Location:
Deep Inside Your Mother
Eye Color:
Green
Hair Color:
You Didnt specify the location
Height:
5' 10(same size of my penis)
Right Handed or Left Handed:
I use my feet for daily functions
Your Heritage:
Extracted DNA from prehistoric primates
The Shoes You Wore Today:
Wooden Dutch Shoes
Your Weakness:
Spontaneous Human Combustion
Your Fears:
Purple frogs holding flaming sticks
Your Perfect Pizza:
A pizza revered highly by Zagat and flawless marinara with a dab of oregano
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Become president of a third world country (Oh wait, That's Obama's Job)
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
If you keep harassing me, I'm gonna report you to AOL
Thoughts First Waking Up:
Why are my pants sticking out so much
Your Best Physical Feature:
The 1 inch in my pants
Your Bedtime:
My bed has an 8 o'clock curfew
Your Most Missed Memory:
I can't remember, I missed it
Pepsi or Coke:
Both - one to drink and one to snort
MacDonalds or Burger King:
Anything that doesn't involve clogged arteries or a premature heart attack
Single or Group Dates:
A single group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
No frills orange juice
Chocolate or Vanilla:
My penis isn't picky
Cappuccino or Coffee:
I'm not picky, I'll have a mocha blast with 2 spledors, a smidget of caramel and 1 sugar
Do you Smoke:
Ask that to a chimney
Do you Swear:
Hell fucking no
Do you Sing:
I sing for single women in Singapore who need more singular minutes
Do you Shower Daily:
Daily is old enough to shower himself
Have you Been in Love:
Love is not a noun so I couldn't be in it, maybe outside of it
Do you want to go to College:
After I graduate Junior High
Do you want to get Married:
Where do I get it at?
Do you belive in yourself:
They forgot how to spell believe (morons)
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Only when I'm in motion
Do you think you are Attractive:
If I was a metallic object
Are you a Health Freak:
Only when I'm sick
Do you get along with your Parents:
I get a short with my parents
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Of course, I throw parties when it thunders (stupid f*cking question)
Do you play an Instrument:
I let the girls do that for me
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
Only rubbing alcohol
In the past month have you Smoked:
Does burning toilet paper count?
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
They've been in me, but I haven't been on them
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
Well I did fall on a calendar yesterday
What makes Matter of Virtue so damn attractive:
Ask the ladies that one
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
Just the box
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
Yeah, I love my Asian girls
In the past month have you been on Stage:
Only on Broadway
In the past month have you been Dumped:
Only in the trash
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
I've gone morbidly obese dipping
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
A few hearts
Ever been Drunk:
Can't remember, I was too drunk that night
Ever been called a Tease:
A few hair dos said I was
Ever been Beaten up:
By a roach
Ever Shoplifted:
Yea I can also benchpress a shop besides lifting it
How do you want to Die:
In a long, suffering coma
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
A Marine Biologist
What country would you most like to Visit:
America
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
Green
Favourite Hair Color:
Red on top, blue down under
Short or Long Hair:
Depends on the location
Height:
You should ask the girl that question
Weight:
350 LBS. or over
Best Clothing Style:
Bugle boy jeans with ruffled sweaters and some nice cowboy boots with an acid washed denim jacket
Number of Drugs I have taken:
How can I speak for someone else
Henroids or Herpees:
I like both, such a tough question
Number of Piercings:
I would prefer to do the piercings with a rusty fish hook and sharpened butcher knife
How many cats have you killed for chinese restaraunts:
About 339
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
I'd like to meet:
A world renown scientist who can clone my DNA and ensure that another me will embrace this earth. Although it seems highly improbable; just someone with one-tenth of my characteristics has to be incredible. Most lie oblivious to this mind stimulating enigma. Don't be cantankerous with rage, but embrace the 9th wonder of the world as I enhance your cerebral hemisphere with thoughts that would implode the mind of Einstein. Like a sequestered treasure; I epitomize what lies beneath way beneath what lies beneath the great beyond for I am an intellectual monad(and no, not nomad stupid).
Music:
I absolutely adore nails being scratched on chalkboards, barbershop quartets, dog whistles, the sounds of flatlines and all the musical masterpieces of the 1800's.
Movies:
I don't really like movies and please don't mail me saying you love Scarface and Goodfellas. Jump off the bandwagon.
Television:
Not really a big television fan lately. Its so saturated and watered down with so called "Reality TV". Maybe I'm just getting too old to stay home and bore myself in front of a electrical box while the world passes me by. You people should come with a steak because your'e such couch potatoes.
Books:
Anything to do with Shakespearean sonnets. Other than that, I prefer to use my own mind as a conveyer of imagination. Novels are for people who lack the ability to be creative themselves.
Heroes:
Well for starters, I do consider myself as a fine guru of the arts. Man, I would need a split personality to describe my impeccable qualities. A hero provides the essence of an individual who carries prestige and honor. I myself exceed those limitations. Mental nor physical walls quarantine my vast intelligence. I am the hero of all those who lack the hero within; for I am Matter of Virtue.
