Matt profile picture

Matt

londonlad_sw1

About Me

Ok......I'm 22 from Pimlico in Central London. I'm currently trying my best to fail a Quantity Surveying Consultancy degree at Kingston University, but I've kept my options open and if I do fail, I'm going to open the Matt Stafford homeless owl refuge. Where homeless owls can get themselves clean, have a good meal and just do whatever they feel. They'll be trained in job interview techniques, financial self awareness and for the ones who have strayed off the wagon, alcohol awarness sessions. It'll just be nice to give something back to the wise old owls.I'm no doctor (except on weekends when I hang around A&E prescribing my mums valiums to children with crayons in their ears) but I think I've got insomnia. Due mainly to too much alcohol and that bloody QuizMania. I know all the answers but they never answer my calls - mind you the Samaritans are pretty busy at 4 in the morning on a Satuday night!Neway enough of my shit-chat......I'm lively, outgoing and I hope to most people, have a great sense of humour. I'm apparantly intelligent but just too lazy to show it. I'm enjoying being single for the first time in ages but that doesnt mean I'm not on the look-out!! I've got a twin brother called Luke, we're classed as identical but I dont think we look alike!!I love almost everything about London (except for the peanut/hot-dog selling Kosovans, the price of a pint, no-smoking pubs, pigeons- like rats but with wings, the congestion charge, Romanian gypsies playing the accordion on the tube dressed as Santa in the bloody Summer....WHY???? and Ken Livingstone....what a bloody Labour Nazi!)Apart from that London has its good points (mainly swimming in the fountains at Trafalgar Square in November: my bro's favourite after hours stunt, river sightseeing tours: an excuse to get drunk while being told by a guide everything we already know, then asking the tour guide questions in a dodgy German accent that only we know the answers to, the nightlife: fav. clubs include the Clapham Grand, Glassworks, Opera House, Pacha, Cafe de Paris and Zoo Bar).Right thats enough about me for now.....can't tell u everything, have to leave some to the imagination!!!Matt. P.s. hey to all the family in Belfast, I love you all!!!! xx

My Interests

Football, Rugby, Athletics, Cricket, Monkey Tennis, Spear Throwing, Falconry, Drinking till my liver talks to me, Drinking till my stomach talks to me, Smoking till my lungs cant talk anymore, Sleeping, Shagging, Music by aboslutely anyone, The Cinema and University life. Oh and when i wake up i eat Primula! these are all my fav flavours!!!

I'd like to meet:

Ronald McDonald, The HamBurglar, Alan Sugar, Bully from Bullseye (lol.....FOX heres your BFH!!!), David Hasselhoff (dont hassle the Hoff!!), Ronaldinho (legend), Donald Trump (just to do his comb over for him), Norman Kember (aka. ungrateful kidnapped tosser....i'll pay to send him back!!), Bobby Moore, Winston Churchill, Girls Aloud [All at once ;) ], Sean Connery, The Queen, My cousins (More than once a year!!), The Spurs team, The England team, Mohammed Ali, Morgan Freeman, My future wifey, The Chuckle Brothers, Osama Bin Laden and Adolf Hitler on a pissed up Friday nite; just to give em a good kicking, The man who picks the lottery numbers and most of all Jesus in my local; I'd only buy him a glass of water and let him make his own bloody wine!!!And of course, I wanna meet Old Gregg and his mangina!!!

Music:

Anything by the Killers, Queen, Dire Straits, Radiohead, Faithless, The Prodigy, The Worzels LOL, Eric Clapton, Artic Monkeys, Richard Ashcroft/The Verve, Pulp, Black Eyed Peas, Blur, Bon Jovi, Franz Ferdinand, Linkin Park, Kaiser Chiefs, Oasis, Pink Floyd, ANY GARAGE SONG EVER MADE, ANY FUNKY HOUSE SONG EVER MADE, The Streets, The StrokesThe last album I bought was Mash Up Mix 2006, the last single I bought was SaySaySay by Hi-Tack.

Movies:

OMG!!!...The Ringer...so wrong but you have to laugh at Jeffie and the other window lickers!! I'm going straight to hell lol! I LOVE LAMP, I LOVE CARPET...Anchorman - What a Film!! Scarface, The Green Mile, Stand By Me, Deuce Bigalo Male Gigalo (Thats a huge bitch), Irreversible, Shrek, Shrek2, The Rock, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon, Goodfellas, Zoolander, Theres Something About Mary, Face Off, Con Air, The Great Escape, Snatch, Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, Escape From Alcatraz, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Goonies, American History X, Ice Age, The Green Mile, Anchorman, Napoleon Dynamite, The Untouchables, Oceans Eleven, Fight Club, Trading Places, Blazing Saddles, The Producers, The Sting, Saw, Saw2, Beetlejuice, Indiana Jones (All of them) and the funniest film ever The Life Of Brian!!!!

Television:

The A-Team, My Parents Are Aliens, Any Football on T.V., in fact any sports on T.V., Eastenders, Hollyoaks, 24, QuizMania (like heroin, but more addictive!!), The Simpsons, Little Britain, Nighty Night, The Mighty Boosh, Alan Partridge, Peep Show, Trigger Happy TV, The League of Gentlemen, The Fast Show and anything that makes me laugh!!!

Books:

Roger Red Hat, Billy Blue Hat, Percy Green Hat and Johnny and Jennifer Yellow Hat. Trog, Stig of the Dump and Wheres Wally (mind you in my school all the special needs kids had circled Wally with a permanent black marker so it was pretty pointless LMAO@ Salesian days!). Erm.....otherwise I'll have to go for Shakespeare - Othello, King Lear and Macbeth, Tennessee Williams (brilliant plays), Jean Rhys- Wide Sargasso Sea, Hanif Kureshi- Buddha of Suburbia, Snow Falling on Cedars, anything by Dan Brown (personally I think that Angels and Demons is his best yet) and my favourite book - Matt's Little Book of Childrens Bible Stories with foreword by Salman Rushdie.P.s. while looking at my book shelf to remember what books I've actually read I noticed a book that I think my mums secretely planted.....The Easy Way to Control Alcohol....think I'll throw that one in the bin and then open up a fresh can of Super Skol!!

Heroes:

Hmmmmm......does He-Man count? If not I'll have to go for my mum and my nan. Aren't they the only women you'll ever know and love who you can totally understand?!