Movies, cooking, poker, fishing, camping, football (even if the Ravens are losing),....the occasional D-R-I-hicup-N-k!
Chuck Norris is an extraordinary human being:Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.And lastly, When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."And we never will ...All my bro's in the same place for the first time ever!
If you've seen it, chances are i've seen it three times!
Food Network, Spike Tv, World Series of Poker, Desperate Housewives (no I'm not gay), Football, Animal Planet, History Channel.
Not much of a reader but if you guys get the chance you should read A Clockwork Orange. It is a really tough read but it is a really good book. In my opinion anyway.
My father, is and always will be my only hero.