Elle M. Nopee

I'm thirty. I'm quirky. And I'm ready to write the tell-all tale about a woman without a cause and her amazing amount of time to bitch about it.
Whatever...I'm a writer of comedic arts. Have my own act, own sketch comedy troupe, and can be found on the grittier stages of Philly.

Let's see, I enjoy a good fart joke more than any other woman I know with a DD chest. There are some C cup chests out there that find them funny, but we all know a woman with that size chest should hide in shame. My parents are proud.
Actually, my mom often ponders that if she had smoked a joint while knocked up that maybe my brother and I would be normal. I ponder more often what it would be like to be stoned in a womb.
Hmmmm, I like to collect things... calories, parking tickets, and gay men. Now, I know I'm cheating being on the theatre scene and all, but my collection of gay men is legendary. There is an application process now due to such high volume of quality gay men in the area, our standards are tough so put your best gucci-prada foot forward... I could seriously start my own homosexual dating website for all my mens. Too bad we spend most of our time being fabulous. That could have been fun.My main gays include (in no particular order!): Fresh, MIKESMASH, and the gay formerly known as straight Marc. To get into this top tier, there is a test. You won't pass it, so don't try. These guys have spent years grooming themselves to step into the Elle-light. They are the homo-elite.
I like to challenge myself daily -- like right now I have to pee badly, but I'm not going. Oh no. I'm going to sit here until I can't sit here anymore and then I will push myself to go past that limit. I think it's important to push yourself past those walls and boundries society sets up for us.Speaking of boundries, there is no where I feel more comfortable than in front of my oven baking pies for men. Well, I'm lying, which men hate. There is nothing I like more than being pregnant in front of the oven baking pies for my man. The world is so different for women these days... no longer the dark days of just baking pies and being pregnant. Now we get to go to work AND be pregnant AND bake pies. I love evolution.
Who says just because my bladder is aching and getting ready to pop that I have to go to the bathroom? The man, that's who. Don't let the man control your life. Pee Free.
I made this layout with help from pYzam , Look at these other Layouts!
I made this layout with help from pYzam , Look at these other Layouts!