The Abominable Rev. Ben - ProfilesArchive

About Me

So I'm pretty much a giant, I think I was adopted from a family of heavy drinking Sasquatch living in Vancouver (which would explain the massive ear hair). For fun I like to run around the neighborhood in a gorilla costume and smack people in the head with a sock full of nickels and yell "YOU'VE BEEN GORILLA SMACKED BITCH!" As for the Reverend in Reverend Ben, I'm actually an ordained minister in the Church of the Subgenius (an off shoot of the Universal church of Life), it's all nice and legal, so if you want to marry, commit, baptize, bah mitzvah, eulogize, etc., I'd be happy to do it. All I need is a days notice, directions and open bar. Oh and I believe that Jeff Lynne of the band Electric Light Orchestra is the devil. plain layout @ HOT FreeLayouts.com love / music / movies / frazy According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!

My Interests

My interests tend towards the cerebral, such as drinking PBR and Jack and Cokes at Miss Kitty's in Naperville while the drunk parapeligic man, who looks like Charles Manson, tries and picks a fight with me. Obviously by the obnoxiously long movie and music lists below, I like the cinema (just not going to it because I hate people) and a good concert (except when I have to be next to drunk, sweaty guy who loves the band a bit too much). Oh and I do love a parade.

I'd like to meet:

I think I've met enough people in my lifetime. (Was that too surly for a social networking site?)

Music:

Anything polkska (Polka/ska). Sebadoh (Lou Barlow is one beautiful depressing SOB), Matthew Sweet (songs that make me cry like a six four girl), Jurassic 5 (best rap group today), Atmosphere (the best white man doing rap today), Uncle Tupelo (songs about working shitty jobs, drinking and regret...someones been peeking at my diary, I'm looking at you Jeff and Jay), Flaming Lips (proving something good CAN come out of Oklahoma), My Morning Jacket (They're like if the Allman Brothers had sex with the Flaming Lips and it wasn't a disturbing image), Jeff Buckley (say what you will but dudes like the white Al Green), and Al Green (Someday I'll meet him and then get tackled by security), Husker Du/Sugar/Bob Mould (I love that big gay guitar hero)

Movies:

I went to college and got a degree in film/video production, so this list is not going to reflect that really:The Big Lebowski (The reason I don't roll on Shomer Shabbus)Anything by Wes Anderson, dudes just a god (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tannenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou)Shaft (both Richard Roundtree and Sam L Jackson are pretty kickass)Ice Pirates (Robert Urich in the best movie about the future EVER, two words: Space Herpes)Night of the Comet (Comets and Zombies, c'mon that's genius)Supertroopers (Stinks like sex)The Low Life (sooo f'ing depressing but good)Most Tim Burton Movies (Pee-wee's Big Adventure still the best but Nightmare Before Christmas is pretty genius)Terry Gilliam movies except the Brothers Grimm (12 monkeys showed us Frank Gorschen (The former Riddler on the Batman TV show) was a very underused actor)Hoop Dreams (awesome documentary on what it's like being touted as a great athlete at such a young age, kinda parallels my life, being a handball prodigy and all)Fist of Legend (Jet Li's pre hollywood crap movies rule)Enter the Dragon (Two words: Jim "Dragonfly" Kelly)My Dog Skip (made me cry for two hours after it ended, yeah I said it!)I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (Try and not laugh when that chick starts taking body parts off)Beautiful Girls (Uma Thurman and Natalie Portman and it's actually really funny)I have more but my fingers hurt!

Television:

Sadly I have the viewing tastes of a 14 year old girl, so it's mostly The O.C., Beverly Hills 90210 reruns on Soap Net and Veronica Mars. And most of the Adult Swim line up, but mostly Boondocks and Harvey Birdman. Did you know they gave Henry Rollins (Ex-lead singer of Black Flag) his own show? It's not as cool as it sounds, and that man needs a hug.Oh and reruns of "What's Happening?" I style myself after the young Fred "Rerun" Berry, I often find myself "popping" and "locking" every where I go when I wear my beret.

Books:

Goodnight Gorilla (yes it's a kids book, but dammit it has a gorilla), Conspiracy of Tall Men by Noah Hawley (really good if you're into x-files type of thing), Kill Your Idols by Jim Derogatis (explains what I knew all along, Tommy by the Who is pretty awful, yeah I said it!), Our Band Could Be Your Life by Michael Azzerod (John Lydon doesn't come off real well in this one), On the Road by Jack Kerouac (once again proving road trips need only two things; a sense of adventure and a hell of alot of drugs), The Cheese Monkeys by Chipp Kidd (what art school is really like), The Biggest Secret by David Icke (I'll tell you the secret, the world is ruled by Reptillian/human hybrids, V was right!!!!), Yeah I said It by Wanda Sykes (soooo f'in funny)

Heroes:

That guy that invented McGriddles, I tip my hat to you dear sir.

My Blog

Let the attempts on my life begin!

Yay! After many many years I, Benjamin Danger Bennington no longer has to tightrope that fine line between safety and hazard. That's right, I can resume my devil may care attitude about my health (yes...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Fri, 30 May 2008 04:49:00 PST

I think clubbin should be out of your vocab at this point

It's gonna be alright, just calm down and breathe...please, I don't know CPR and do not have a brown paper bag handy. It's just a number. Seems like I've been saying this a lot in the past few months ...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Tue, 27 May 2008 10:12:00 PST

This is why I haven’t written in a while Angela.

So it's been a bit and this isn't just a usual rant of what I believe (those probably will follow) it's just a what I've been up to and why I haven't written in so long... I'm drawing a blank really, ...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Tue, 20 May 2008 12:05:00 PST

Sometimes I just shake my head and cry.

It happens to the best of us and isn't just exclusive to the ladies, when the most even keeled button down dowdy person of an age that they should know better succumbs to either the evils of drugs/alc...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Tue, 20 May 2008 12:00:00 PST

It’s not a shameless plug if you have no shame to begin with

I’ve known my friend Ryan Powers for about four years now and through it all I’ve threatened to put him in my pocket (because he’s tini), called him a hobbit, invited him to see midg...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:14:00 PST

They should also have a Road House Fest

Sam Elliot is my God. I’m serious that man is a God among men. I wish him and Sean Connery would make a buddy cop movie together like Tango and Cash. That’s the answer I usually give when ...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:09:00 PST

Trying to put the Care back in Karaoke

There I am, fumbling with the words, staring blankly, flop sweating, eyes upon eyes staring, waiting for the next words to come out of my mouth with the mixture of shock and awe. I clutch my beer and ...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:59:00 PST

The final installment in the Trilogy of Idiocy

So after a night of being emotionally beaten by Officer Friendly and the Brother from another r planet, what better way to unwind than to wake up super ass early and visit the earthy folks down at the...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:59:00 PST

Strange Days Indeed

So to continue on, there are days that just don't seem to end, that no matter how unfathomable it is, just seem to get stranger as they go on, more like that song by John Lennon "Nobody Told Me". Stra...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:56:00 PST

I totally woulda gotten a tear drop tattoo...

Sometimes you can sum up a day in one word such as marvelous, fantastical, assy, or meh. Sometimes it takes a full sentence like "Best day ever" or "Please don't speak to me" type of day. ...
Posted by The Abominable Rev. Ben on Mon, 03 Mar 2008 01:21:00 PST