Shen

For a truly comprehensive history, one must commence at the origin. To do otherwise would be tantamount to eating page after page of the Blackpool Citizen' newspaper - just not giving you what you need at all. A waste of everybody's time and potentially, to the hardcore Shenite, a harsh blow to the eagerly expectant-for-ace-info guts. So it begins on very special night in August 1982. We can't reveal the exact date and time as that would raise a few too many eyebrows for our liking and probably get us in a whole world of excro. But on one of these warm summer nights, a certain couple got their thing doing, got what us westerners call f@*&+ (fucky), and set about a chain of events that have permanently changed the musical landscape of Poulton/Bispham for what must surely be ever. The thing is, what is medically supposed to happen, didn't. For some unknown reason things went macarbe. Instead of the usual, (sperm are programmed to flagellate their wee tails off til one of them manages to score) the sperm decided to do things a little differently. They somehow organised a collective inteligence and pulled off a master stroke. You see, contained within the bust existed a very strange sperm indeed. A sperm visually and profoundly genetically distinct from all the others. A sperm with...lord no...no, its true....a tiny cow-fringe! This sperm was detected by the others as being a novelty and more importantly, a ticket to a bloody good laugh in their short life. Like some horrific inverted ranch, the millions-strong normal sperm cowboys rounded this bizarre specimen up and ushered it in a very ominous direction. Naturally, the unfortunate thing had a poor grasp of spatial awareness. Endlessly straying off and requiring frequent correction. The Normals were disciplined and harsh masters though and before long they had got the thing to The Goal. The Goal was however completely aware of what was transpiring. Not that that had any consequence of course - what can an egg do, really?! All that it could do is watch in horror as 'Lesbian' (roughly translating as 'Mashed-up Cow Strangeness') was brought forward by a set of butch (all normal sperm are skin-heads) looking Normals and presented to the Goal with sickening relish. The Goal was left without any doubt as to the harsh reality of what was to become of the situation and what would become of the subsequent fusion. If an egg could piss itssen with fear, this one would have wet itself a disgusting amount. And so it occured.What followed next was the gestation of one of the most hideous foetuses man or beast could ever conceive. The fringe developed first, then the likeness to M.Wahlberg, then the building abilities. Then 'the communication' commenced.The communication comprised of a mystical call to 3 yet to be busted-out Normals. Those Normals knew their destiny and thus had an advantage over the others, smashing through the surprisingly brittle wall of their designated Goal with ease, settling in and creating beautiful, fully human babies. First up was Riss (Jwoe). Then it were time for Pikail. Finally came Rida. The shit in-between then and now is not worth mentioning as it is as you would expect. Come see us refract light, live, sometime soon, and you will be fully caught-up on everything that you need to know about us. For the moment that is.....