Steve Penk then I can batter him. Kate Nash then I can give her a good slap.Dot Cotton. Tina Turner Brian Turner. Psycho Paul. Anyone who can laugh at themselves. Anyone who drinks tea. Anyone who's got a face like an arse and an arse like a face. Anyone who's got a chin like a black pudding. Or likes beetroot. Or Turkish Delight. Or has a voice like gravel. But not people who close all the windows on buses. Or people who have no sense of personal space. Or who put an exclamation mark after everything! Or people who talk like everything is a question? Or shandy boys.