Brett profile picture

Brett

About Me

Trailer for Naked Zombie Gorilla Orthodontist:I was born in Melonville, in the Year Of Your Lord, 1876. It was a difficult birth, for I had no mother or father. I started work three days later in a steel mill. Tough work for an infant, but I moved up quickly. By six months old, I was running the place. Another two months later, the steel mill closed. I really didn't know much about running a steel mill.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Hunter S. Thompson's cousin Ed. Jonathan Livingston Seagull. George Carlin. Pink. Pink's maid. Jesus' kids. A small paper napkin. All three amigos. That girl from the 8th grade that I never talked to. Jerry Rivers. Abraham Stinkin. John Wilkes Sousa. Doctor Moreau. HG Wells. Peking Man. My own great great great great great great grandkids. Gerald Ford. Henry Ford. Harrison Ford. Emmanual Lewis.

My Blog

It's pronounced Hey-Zoos

I've decided to enter the World's Strongest Man competition. The current champ, Lars Von Testicles, has inspired me. He was the only man in last year's competition to lift the Great Wall of China over...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:35:00 GMT

birth no death

Okay, past the obituaries. No one has died today. at all. in fact, it's the first time that ever happened. Not one person, across the globe has died. I went down the hospital to see what was going on,...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:19:00 GMT

Blue for Red

See ya later Pockets! Miss that little bastard already.
Posted by on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:15:00 GMT

Roger

Farewell Syd
Posted by on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 14:12:00 GMT

that time

It's 4:20, and you know what that means! Time to eat my lunch. I am having a tuna sandwich with a steak on the side. Tastes like shit.
Posted by on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 13:21:00 GMT

Buzzardbait

Jousting should be a sport that we can all bet on, like horse racing or boxing or cock fighting. Maybe in between races at the track, the losing horses and jockeys could battle each other. Older horse...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 22:25:00 GMT

My grandfather hated the immigrants that he immigrated with

Why don't we just buy Mexico? Instead of building a wall, we could just knock down the borders we already have. How much could Mexico go for? Couple of hundred thou? The money we've spent in Iraq coul...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 18:15:00 GMT

Words to live nearby

Never really grab a bull by the horns.Always look on the bright side of this awful disgusting world we live in.If you ever have the chance, have sex with a lot of people at once.Don't eat anything you...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 19:40:00 GMT

Marcus Welby's daughter

Dogs do not really exist
Posted by on Wed, 24 May 2006 13:16:00 GMT

George Milhouse Bush

Not too far into the future, we may all have a video game based on our lives. Already, we are able to put our faces on characters in the games, but I am talking about one based on you. A video game ab...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Apr 2006 19:51:00 GMT