So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... profile picture

So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you....

Nothing will replace the love in my heart for you..

About Me

I NEED You More And More.....

My life without you is winter without the snow, a rain cloud without the rain , a breeze without the wind. Life without you is lyk a dull rainbow with dark colors.My life witout has turned upside down, My life is now incomplete...Life without just wont be right ne more
~I MISS YOOOUU!!!~

My Interests


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My 2 Angels that are resting up above me Phillip Daniel Kessler and Tara Lynn Orozco i miss you both so much. Everyday going by without you here it hurts everyday that i go on without you. My life hasn't been the same since you both left. When im alone i think about why couldn't it be me?? You both just didn't deserve it young, beautiful and soo full of life..WHY??? May you both rest in peace and sleep tight untill that day we meet again..I love you both 10-16-2005 the worst day i ever had to face.

Phil,

I love you soo much. I can't believe your gone, your just not here anymore. Everyday waking up i wanna walk to go see u at work, but i can't. I can't walk and i can't see you, just knowing that breaks my heart. I didn't see this coming, like we were all chilling and having fun. I never told u how i felt untill that night and i regret everyday. Now i sit back and say what am i gonna do without you here? I can't believe im not gonna see your bright smile and your aborable face that i use to love and kiss. I just remember that one day when i came into work crying and i just fell into your arms and u told me that everything is gonna be okay, you kissed my cheek and grab my hand and told me you love me. Then said Shelly shell and i looked deep into your brown eyes and u told me that if i ever needed anything you were just a call away, and you will always be here for me, to back me up. At that moment with our eyes still locked i knew i would always be safe in your arms and i knew u cared. You picked me up, now who is gonna do that for me now?? Every moment we shared together made me go out with life. You made me get up no matter what i was going thru, all i had to do is look up at your smile and i knew there was a star with me. You made me believe i had a reason to be alive, and we had those serious time, our fun time and our hard times. i remember when i picked me up and put me in the sink of mickey dee's and i looked at you and said Phil HELP ME DOWN!!! and u said tell me u love me 1st, i was like Phil u know i love you now let me down and you grab my hand and let me down gentlely. All the nights that u drove me home and you would touch my hand and said listen to this song. And i just thought about us of a moment. You made me soo happy even when i didn't think it was possiable but u made me smile no matter what was happening. I just wish i could of held your hand longer, letting go of you was that worst thing i could of ever done. I felt like you gave me the hope to get outta the car. When i grab your hand and i said 'Phil i love you please make it thru for me' and they made me leave you. I broke down i didn't wanna leave your side. I just wanna hold u agian, i want u to hold me with your gently hands. You don't know everynight i look at the stars, and i see 2 bright stars, and i know im happy caz at the point of time we are together again. I try staying strong for u i really try but without u helping me thru this it is hard for me to stay strong for u!!! I love you and everytime u spent with me and talking to me gave me all that hope i needed to believe in you. Your soul will go on and on forever. I know i will never let you go. Untill the day we meet agian and i see that smile that i will never forget. And i know u will hold me like you did and never let go agian

I love you Phil and nothing will replace the love in my heart for you, our undying love will never die and i will never ever forget you!!!!
11-14-87~10-16-05

The Kisses...
The kisses i just to love
The kisses i use to die for.
The kisses that made me fall for u all over again
...Now the kisses i have to live without...
I can't believe that was gonna be the last time me touched and kissed. Now i just don't kno how im gonna be able to pull throught this without u. Those kisses is all i feel now. You kisses were one of a kind, sumthing ill never forget. The warm feelings of your lips kept me waiting more. You ever so soft touch, now i feel ur touch tellin me to go and go on. Deep within knos i should but my heart just won't give up on u! U r the only thing i need to go on with, now im leaving this life without u. It feels like im leaving a lie, caz im sayin to myself im gonna be k but i really kno im not! I need your arms to keep me safe, i need ur talks to keep me believein, i need those hugs to show me someone cares. I just need u!!! My world is upside down, n nothing is gonna turn it right-side up...Loving in ur memory, Tearin my heart open and spillin my love for u, but now that all of that is done with, i lose the person i need more then i tought. Sooner or later ill be with u one day soon. We will meet agian babe and i will see that smile, have those hugs, be grace with your kisses. Untill the im gonna have to go without...
The kisses i just to love
The kisses i use to die for.
The kisses that made me fall for u all over again.
...Now the kisses i have to live without...


Tara,
My beautiful Tara, my dear friend u don't know how much not seeing you everyday brings me to tears. You kept me going on. We had those talks that no one could ever hold with me, and that still goes on till this day. You will never be replaced in my heart. I will never forget that day we 1st meet and from that day u made me smile and your sister Alisia don't worry i'll keep her near me. My twins i love you both dearly. Without one i don't have my twins anymore. Tara you were so outspoken and thats what im gonna miss the most about u. No matter what we would always back each other up. I just wish i could hug u one more time and make fun of Alisia with you agian. Those memorys ill never let down. U made my world xtremely happy i don't know why this happen to a such beautiful person, how did this happen to you?? You had soo much hope in life soo much reason to go on. You were the most joyful and pleasent person to be around. Tara thanks for everything u ever done for me, im thankful i was graced with your presents, just to be near u every single day and be able to tell you whatever is going on with my life. Really who is gonna take your place, your in-replaceable to me. I still wanna wake up and here u calling me.. And watching for your screen name to pop up, but it isn't gonna happen, and i live in stock caz im not gonna be seeing your face anymore. Tara u were a simple flower that i loved soo much. I just can't believe your not here next to me... It is so hard to think about what im gonna be without you here..But i know your resting and ill visit u when i can. I love you always and forever...

You were soo beautiful Tara i can't believe that im not gonna see u anymore, u will always be in my heart and in my memory!!! I always love you Tara
10-19-88~10-16-05

The Wonderful and beautiful twins!! I miss ya soo much Tara it is soo hard living without you!! And Goose i love yo soo much!!I Always will love you both always and forever

I'd like to meet:

I would wanna meet up with Phil and Tara agian, im missing them soo freaking much. Every moment of everyday there on my mind 24/7...It has been crazy without then and sumtimes i just dont know what to do without them!!!

Music:

Mostly whateva i feel like listenin 2!

My fam.. bro, sis and cuzins!!

Movies:

I dont really care, usually a funny movie it always good but scary movies are a plus also but whateva im in tha mood for...

Television:


November 14, the day that was supposed to be the happiest for you, to spend time with your loved ones, The day of celebration of your days getting older. That day came and you weren't here to spend that day with us, im torn apart, thinking of how happy u were to be 18 and how much stuff u can do now. You talked about it all the time, and now here are all your love ones come together to sit at your grave and miss you. That day couldn't of get any harder on us, that day was the day your were gonna get your tattoo, another one of the most happiest things of your life. I stood there at your grave broken down and i knew deep within me you were there with me smiling caz u saw all of us and in away u did spend your birthday with us. I was happy to be there with you, but in away sad caz u should be here with us, why??? why did god take u from my arms?? I felt soo empty on that day, that day was supposed to be full of happiness and smiles and not tears and frowns. Missing you never been this hard caz i knew you were always a call away, a drive away. Now u are taken from me and i will never have that warmth i need, the faith i need to go on. I love you forever and in my heart and mind you will always be. I just never thought i have to be without you, i never had this horriable feeling before, since 10-16-05 all i have felt is lonliness and heartbreak. When i had you near i never felt that way, i was happy and loving, now i have no reason to be either. When i lost you i lost everything besides my feelings and memory of you!! I'll always hold u close Phillip Daniel Kessler and never will i lose what ihave of you. I love you soo much and i hope u had a good birthday with the rest of the angels. Love you soo much, Miss ya a whole lot, but never will i forget the good times with ya

Books:



MySpace Layouts

My Blog

really...

Sumtimes i just feel so alone.. it sucks at times.. like i miss the good old days when i knew where my life was going and i never thought it was gunna end on like this..   I guess it makes u fee...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:45:00 PST

Just a lot of stuff on mind...

Ughhh i just really dont kno what to do ne more. I thought i was going to be strong and i see that im not. Im just as weak as i was before. I miss them soo much! And i feel like sumtimes no one is the...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:39:00 PST

Thank You!

I just dont know wut to say, but i cant thank you enough. You are helping me throught wut i couldnt get through. I thought it was impossiable but you came to me well i came to ya, just to let you know...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Thu, 25 May 2006 06:39:00 PST

Waiting...

Waiting.... Soo if it doesnt hurt to die, but it hurts the loved ones around you. Once they are gone, they are gone and all u got left is the memory. Soo i hold everything we once shared in my heart. ...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Mon, 09 Jan 2006 09:45:00 PST

I miss you Tara and Phil<3

I miss everything about you Phil<3 I miss those hugs, that kept me warm. I miss those words, that kept me going. I miss those fun days a work, that kept me coming to work. I miss those "ghetto" tal...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Sat, 12 Nov 2005 10:14:00 PST

Chemical Tears............

Chemical Tears... The tears that have fallen, fall upon my hands, as every single last tear falls, it burns a hole right through my hand. As more and more days passes by, im slowly fadeing away. I fee...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Sat, 05 Nov 2005 05:21:00 PST

R.I.P Phil and Tara

Tara L. Orozco October 19, 1988 - October 16, 2005 You are always in my thoughts, Always on my mind. We have soo many mems, ill never forget. It's hard waking up knowing i won't see you angel-like fac...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Fri, 21 Oct 2005 07:54:00 PST

Love in my heart...

Love in my heart   All i have left in my thoughts is the broken glass, and the blood.But I look up to the sky and blow you both a kiss.Knowing ill never forget the both of the angel's faces.Every...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Fri, 21 Oct 2005 08:23:00 PST

October 13

Yeah can't fucking wait till October 13th....   MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!!!!!!   I hopeing that i will meet them again!!   Frankie is soo effing adorable, i want a hug from him again and i w...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Fri, 02 Sep 2005 01:00:00 PST

The USED!!

OMG The USED was sooo amazing and the other bands were GREAT can't remember them all...!! Things Signed: My New Shoes by: The Used My Old Shoes: Guy from the 1st band<forget his name> My Old S...
Posted by So.BROKEN..up.inside..Without you.... on Fri, 02 Sep 2005 12:55:00 PST