Joshua

Hey guys im looking to move soon in bournemouth so if anyone nos some one with a large double room would be much appreciated. cheers x x x xLifes a in a bit of a transition now, so many changes but im ready for what ever happens. Living down in Bournemouth at the mo and loving every minute of it! Dont think ive ever smiled som much since i moved down ;) Im definatly a bit of a social butterfly, i think that its just something thats become part of me after leading a very broad and diverse life, seeing the world and experinencing different cultures. My Friends and family are very important to me. The main reason im on this site is to share a little about my self and hopefully meet some interesting people along the way. i hope that if ive messaged u and ur reading this i dont come across as alot of the desperate and lets face it slightly self obsesed guys on here. Its just not what im about. Deffinatly a lil to cheeky for my own good some times, but also usually the first to laugh at my self. So have a look at my beautifull friends and amazing family and if u like the profile drop me a msg some time. jx joshs tears can end world poverty. Shame he has never cried. 2) josh has counted to infinity. Twice. 3) josh doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 4) When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for josh. 5) joshs blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets. 6) josh does not consider himself to be arrogant; he admits he used to, but now feels that he is perfect. This belief is generally supported by everyone he has ever met. 7) josh now has the middle name 'Handsome' he never requested this change, it was a unanimous decision made by all the ladies at de-poll who saw his picture. 8) In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by josh, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. 9) When josh had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned. 10) When josh sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. josh has not had to pay taxes, ever. 11) josh has never been wrong about anything ever. However in school exams he was never awarded 100% by teachers as they did not dare portray him as a geek. 12) josh once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. 13) josh once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" 14) There are no performance-enhancing drugs in sport. Just athletes josh has breathed on. 15) josh was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of roughed good looks, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to joshs gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious rugby tackle related injuries. 16) josh can touch MC Hammer. 17) A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is in actual fact a warning that the spot belongs to josh and that you will be handicapped if you park in it. 18) Simply by pulling on both ends, josh can stretch diamonds back into coal. 19) joshs hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush. 20) vaz ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. 21) josh doesn't use pick up lines, he simply says, "now!" 22) Oxygen requires vaz to live. 23) Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat josh. josh showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. 24) josh has to buy trousers with a 40 inch inside leg. His legs are only 34 inches; the other 6 are to cover the last 6 inches of his penis. 25) josh can make a woman orgasm by simply chanting his own name. 26) The dinosaurs looked at josh the wrong way once. Only once. 27) If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not josh. 28) josh has already been to Mars; that is why there are no signs of life there! 29) josh built a time machine and went back to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, josh met all three with his flexed pecks, thus deflecting them all. JFK's head exploded out of cheer amazement. 30) josh is not hung like a horse..... Horses are hung like josh. 31) When he goes to bed josh uses a night-light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him. 32) josh can unscramble an egg. 33) Wilt Chamerlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. josh calls this a slow Tuesday" 34) josh does not have to stop bullets as they know better. 35) A recent poll discovered that 93% of women think about josh during sex. A similar poll discovered that josh thinks about josh 100% of the time during sex. 36) A man once got stranded on the side of the road after his car ran out of gas. josh drove by, got out, and looked the man in the eye. The man knew everything would be fine. Then josh proceeded to piss in the man's petrol tank and to this very day, that man has never had to put petrol in his car again. That was 9 years ago. 37) josh can eat soup with a fork. 38) After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending in josh. His reasoning? It was more humane. 39) On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon he found a note saying 'josh was here' 40) josh challenged a statue to a staring contest. vaz remains undefeated. 41) If vaz is late then time better slow down. 42) josh actually died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 43) josh lost his virginity before his dad did. 44) Before he forgot a gift for josh, Santa Claus was real. 45) When you see joshs impressive physique, you're actually seeing him almost completely relaxed. Were he to fully flex his biceps, for instance, they would swell to 128 inches in circumference. 46) When josh does a press-up, he does not push himself up, but instead he pushes the whole world down. 47) Tony Blair hatched a sure fire way of ending the war in Iraq, unfortunately josh couldn't be bothered 48) If you are ridiculously good looking and muscley and you do not know your biological father, then it is probably josh. 49) josh can divide by zero. 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